little_lia_for_u

kena bastard...

2006-10-14T13:16:00.000+08:00

wahz lao... my queensway boss sux... bastard mi... i din go for skin food de training coz i tot i wun be wking anymore... end up my boss msg mi yest saying she got a full timer... damn fuck up... i should have listen to gracie... juz ignore my boss get a higher pay job... hope gracie can help mi get biotherm de job... i can't survive without job... need some income... my skin food job ish higher than my qs job... then i stop wking there after sch start coz i told my qs boss i can wk after sch start... sux lorz... now i gonna find job again... weekend job not easy find... hope can get a commission de... then i can wk hard for my pay... all the best to myself... hehe...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

help...

2006-10-04T00:57:00.000+08:00

sho fast jiu oct le... sch gonna start soon le... sianz... haven earn enough for myself... hehe... need more income... hehe...
having prob recently wif bi... kinda solved... but i still can't let it go easily... maybe ish coz i need ppl to talk to or i juz need him to tell mi to trust him... the incident go like this.......
bi went out wif his best frenz... which ish a ger... who ish from our sec sch... & he use to like her in the past... well... i'm sho eager to noe how she look like... sho i went to see the yr bk... then i sho eager to noe how she look like now... sho i went to browse around in friendster... well... not veri gd looking... but bi like ppl coz he like... no matter how the person look like... sho... uncertain... i'm afraid... i'm rude enough... i went to see his msg from his hp... seeing him type to the ger... after they went hm... i juz rmb he type some stuff & say "fen shou" kinda thin... i totally breakdown... i dunno wat to say... i show him the msg & ask him wat izzit about... he juz give mi attitude as if he ish rite & say it meant to be a joke... it's not funny lorz... sho sad... i can't take it man... i might be a happy go lucky person in life... but i take relationship seriously... we quarrel... he show mi attitude... he sux lorz... if he din do anythin behind mi... y he can't juz tell mi wat happen & he can be trusted... i juz need him to talk nicely to mi & tell mi wat happen... i'm nice enough to ask him... though in a rude way... but i think gers out there will juz give their guy a slap... we din settle the matter by dat day... somehow went hm cool down... i cry myself to slp dat nitez... i can't take it... 9 months of relationship... he send those flirting msg to a ger... the next day he sux more... i msg him, he neva reply... then we wk at qs... i remind him got wk... he totally no reply mi... and i call him to check whether he rmb to go wk... after dat he dun even bother to msg mi... wat the hell... u are angry?? u stand no right man!!! angry of mi coz of her... wat the hell!! if she ish gd... go for her... y the hell ish he here wif mi?? end up i think... i always oso play wif frenz... but i got tell him wat i told whoever wat de... he din...but i reali dunno wat to do... thinking am i over reacting?? am i too much?? izzit he reali din do anythin dat's y he angry wif my reaction?? sho i intend to call ricky to talk... after talking to ricky... i think we need to talk in a better way... i msg him saying i wait for him finish wk... he at last reply... he bought mi a bag dat i like... i din show him face... i normally dun show attitude to him in front of ppl... coz i dun wan him to feel pai sehz... we talk... he told mi bout their outing... but i still feel insecure... i need sometime to trust him... seriously he have neva do anythin dat make mi feels secure & safe to be wif him... from the start... i dun even noe his frenz, his life & wateva bout him... until now... i still not totally sure... he told mi... he see no point in lying to mi... but i scare he did some stuff & dare not say... & he'll say... i see no point in saying... i'm a veri sensitive person... & of coz veri jealous person oso... i try to act generous to let him go out wif her... but i noe i can't... sho i end up throwing temper... actuali... i juz need him to tell mi he can be trusted & he wun lie to mi... he have neva console mi wif any word... i dun need any action to show... i juz need word this time... he juz can't give... to him... if i go out wif a guy or 1 group of guy... he oso wun bother... the most he'll do ish juz to say careful... dat's all... if i dun tell him wat actuali happen or who actuali i'm out wif he's okie wif it... but to mi... i need to noe everythin... even wat u all do when u are out... izzit sho difficult to say?? although he told mi wat happen... i'm still scare... scare he'll change his heart... i can't let go... i'll totally breakdown de... juz hope nothin ish happening... still uncertain bout it... anyone wif any advice to make mi feel better??
zul told mi... if this thin can solve... we'll have a stronger relationship... i hope we can reali have a stronger relationship... he's part of my life... i even dream of him going out wif dat ger... though a dunno her look... it's like nightmare... omg... but i try to believe dat anythin ish not seen by my own eyes can't be true... but i like to think & imagine... hehe... i believe i'll be love and neva be let go... he'll reali love mi as much as i do... pls make my wish come true... everyone wish to be loved... would i be the one u choose to love forever??

[[ hopefully nothing ish happening... ]]
[[ i will learn to trust him if he earn the trust... ]]
[[ i believe dat one day i'll be the luckiest and most fortune person to be love by him... ]]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-
*uncertain*

my life...

2006-09-20T23:32:00.000+08:00

din update for quite long le... well... recently wking 2 job... sometime 3... hehe... wk as promoter at parkway parade mostly on weekday... queensway on weekend... & sometime newspaper wk for aunt... hehe... gonna earn like hell... hehe... qs de pay lower... 4.5 bucks per hr... but nvm... juz wk... anyway slack... hehe... next week whole week at qs... boss going aboard... hehe... anyway got result recently... not bad... gpa 3... wahaha... i got ad somemore... reali got everythin in np le... from ad to f... wahaha... thanz to my lect for the ad... wahaha... he help mi get gpa 3 de... hehe... muz jia you... hehe... today went to the tanglin camp there see arts stuff... neva finish walking around... can't go le... humph... but nvm... experience some nice stuff... hehe... today oso go eat the choc thingy at esplanade wif bi & ken... nice nice... but u muz like choc larz... hehe... my frenz wk there... then got some free stuff... hehe... thanz... hehe... bi bi sick to say mi le... everywhere oso got frenz... but gd wat... get free stuff wor... hehe... anyway cheap... we onli eat 40 plus... hehe... this few times mi & bi keep eating nice stuff... i'll become fat 1 day... wahaha... imagine round amelia... wahaha... sure funny de... hehe... tml gonna wk at parkway... go slp le... nitez nitez... hehe...

[[ love u like i neva done before... ]]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

wking life...

2006-09-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

well... i've been wking for 3 days le... sho tired... wonder wat i wk?? hehe... wking at parkway parade inside as a skin product de promoter... well... the product name ish skin food... think not bad... tried b4... coz cousin wk in the company... but it ish specially for sensitive, oily or dry skin... not reali for normal skin... hehe... but still okie... frenz can try... not bad... they got 3 outlet onli... coz quite new... onli 1 yr plus... hehe... onli parkway parade ish in isetan... another 2 outlet ish shop... raffles and marina... but i not sure where... their product ish from korea... muz ask the person intro... coz the discrition there not detail de... hehe... promoting now... wahaha...
back to topic... surpose to be giving out coupon... but end up be promoter.. hehe... coz no more coupon to give... the part timer give away on sat & sun le... hehe... tiring sia... stand there for 8 hrs... damn cold somemore... but pay not bad... 6 bucks... sho i'll jia you... but onli 1 week... dunno they need other part timer anot... coz they juz got 1... actuali standing ish okie... but my heels ish injured last time... now stand a few hrs jiu pain le... hehe...
mon after wk went find bi bi then go grap some food eat...
then yest bi bi come fetch mi though he got wk in the morning... hehe... but he lost his way... wahaha... ben bi bi... bleahz... tell the whole world u lost ur way... actuali not lost larz... ish he alight too earli then realise after he alight... hehe... too late... wahaha... by the time i finish wk le... sho wait for him a while then go eat... hehe... thanz bi bi... hehe...
today at last give out coupon... but hate s'porean... b4 u tell them it's free gift, they say dun wan... then when u say free... straight away stop & ask wat's dat... then sure take de... nitez bought bread hm eat... hehe... gonna slp le... nitez frenz... hehe...
anyway wk there 2nd day jiu see a frenz le... bi bi say "see frenz again"... i go everywhere oso will see frenz... hehe... but here sho far le still can see... wahaha... bleahz... take care frenz...

if got job lobang tell mi... wanna wk like hell for holiday... in need of money... thanz...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

tml last day of exams~!!!

2006-08-24T00:31:00.000+08:00

wow... last paper tml... sho fast... tml ish tp paper... the paper i fail in ct... hope i'll rmb the formula tml... hope wun go blank... hehe... muz jia you all my frenz... hehe... juz finish my online assignment... sho proud of myself.. coz i did the assignment without referring to bk & without cheating... but actuali easy de... it's all 1 step calculation... hehe... tml onwards can relax le... gonna find job... frenz got lobang muz tell mi wor... thin i start wk from sept... then can relax a while first... hehe... sho tired... at last gonna end of exams... thin this time de gpa not bad... onli scare tp... hehe... anyway today last day of "july"(hungry ghost fest) gonna be another "july"... who noe those thin still around in this july marz?? they going bsck or still got 1 month holi arhz?? though i din meet any... of coz dun wish to meet them... but still scare when i walk hm late... hehe... anyway i still haven receive all the pics on the sch dinner... who have it?? wei haven send mi... wan bomb her le.. hehe... see u again guys... muackz... love u guys... hehe...

somehow tot of my relationship... can't expect much... juz hang on... hehe... today gd mood... write everythin oso happy... hehe...

miss my mummy... haven see her this week... thin fri or wat go visit her... hehe... sat mama coming hm again... hehe... anyway she today went check up... doc say her getting better... wanna give her another therapy... then we dun wan... she sho scare of needle le... dun give better... let her eat med jiu hao... hopefully she'll live longer than expected... love u mummy...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

mama ish back...

2006-08-13T00:45:00.000+08:00

wow... today mama came hm... actuali i was afraid anythin will happen to her if she come back... but until now... everythin still okie... hope she wun wake mi up in the nitez... tml she'll need to go back hospice... onli 1 day break... she damn happy... hehe... i oso happy though i miz my firework... hehe... tml gonna wake up earli... coz her med need to be taken at 8... thin i'll slp more... coz today dunno y feel giddy... sho... thin i need more rest... hehe... yest somethin veri dumb happen... well... shouldn't say out wat... it's a secret between mi & bi... a veri dumb secret... but nvm... hope everythin will be alright... juz to remind myself... <11> exams coming... jia you my frenz... take care...

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

confuse

2006-08-04T08:48:00.000+08:00

feeling confuse now... somehow uncertain wat i wan... dunno wat i doing... yest sho difficult then get to slp... i starting tot maybe coz he not hm yet... but when i wake up at 3 plus saw his msg dat he's hm... i still took quite long to slp... i oso dunno got slp anot... sho tired... and sho no mood... he din slp much oso... coz went frenz b'day... maybe ltr tell him i dun feel like seeing him today... then let him rest... he's making mi feel i need to learn to leave without him... if i reali learn to leave without him... thin dat's the day we end... i feel like crying out loud... sho xin ku... today sho no mood sia... dun feel like msg him oso... coz i suddenly thin nothin much to talk le... dunno y... after his presentation then tell him i dun wanna see him today... coz scare affect him presentation... but thin wun... he will neva be affected coz of wat i say de... but better wait for him to be done... sometime i thin he take mi for granted... i oso dunno... coz if he noe he meetin mi the next day... then the day before he wun wanna meet mi... y can't he treasure every moment?? but thin back... he may have his point of views... but he dun say... haiz... amm i thinking too much again?? muz forget... hehe... i'll be okie... hehe... grumble finish jiu okie le... hehe... tml will be better...

[[ hopefully nothin happen~ ]]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

i hope...

2006-07-27T23:49:00.000+08:00

mama ish somehow recovering... her emo ish on & off... she can be veri gd to u today & scold u like hell on the next day... she scolded mi & daddy for dunno how many times le... hehe... but nvm... i like to play wif her... hehe... her memory oso weak le... everyday forget bout the day before... sho to her... everyday ish a new day... but she rmb some each day... tml onwards... mama will be transfer to dover park which ish at tan tock seng~!!! i oso dunno where... tml ah kim & daddy going wif mama... transport by ambulance... thin sat then go visit mama... but after transferring there... i will not visit her sho often le... coz far from sch... then if i finish by 4 or 5 go there jiu 6 or 7 le... pei her a while... by the time i reach hm jiu 10 or 11 le... wun have time for study & stuff... 2 more week study break... then exams... then find wk le... gonna wk to earn money... for jie jie, daddy, baby and mi... hope can have enough for all... hehe... the most i wk more... frenz... got lobang find mi... i wan wk... but i dun wan departmental stall... hehe... ma fan de mi... if i reali can't find pay more than 5 i jiu go imm de giant... hehe... wk wif en... hope they will hire mi... hehe...

recently got bi bi by mi... sho happy... but sometime the stuff he say do hurt... but can't blame him... the person in hosp ish not his mum... ish mine... sometime i juz wanna share thin wif him... but the thin he say ish not wat i expected... if i complain my mama scold mi... he'll say tape her mouth up... but to mi... i wish he'll say bo pian... she ish sick... or she not feeling well... or even juz ask mi to bear wif it... kinda thin... haiz... try to talk to him... but can't... normally when i start the topic... dunno y we end up change topic... & drop the topic... haiz... nothin wk... our talking distance drift apart le... haiz... at first i tot he can be the one who i talk to veri truely... but...... haiz... sometimes reali can't expect dat much bahz... hope we can have a gd talk... i thin communication ish the most important thin in a relationship... everythin i onli can hope~

[[ hopefully.... ]]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

bad day

2006-07-17T22:36:00.000+08:00

today ish a bad day?? it's my chi b'day... but i'm not happy... sorry reali dat difficult to say?? haiz... i oso dunno wat to do... izzit wrong to throw temper sometime?? i thin i'm not wrong... he oso thin he not wrong... haiz... today actuali bi wan fetch mi after sch then bring mi go eat... but he sho bad... at ken house till he forget time... haiz... sho disappointed... dat day go cut hair i late he show face... then now he break his "promise" wif mi... sho unfair... i can't angry mehz?? dat day i apologise to him... y he can't juz apologise?? he thin i over reacted again?? but i thin i'm not... if it's a normal day i nothin to say but it's "my day"... he wan bring go eat oso coz it's my day... i din force or ask him to... i told him i finishing latest at 6.30 but he still at his frenz house... haiz... sho pissed... but still meet him at clementi... ask him dun go ex place eat... we oso broke le... lucky he no late... if not i more pissed... when reach... he dun even bother to talk bout it... he juz forget it... i thin he thin dat this ish his way of handling thin... he wanna avoid arguement... but i thin it's not the way... sometime some stuff need talk de... cannot always like dat avoid de... haiz... i oso dunno how to talk to him... jiu kept quiet lorz... haiz... will this disappointment be kept in my heart?? hope this blog will help mi feel better... hope i'll forget bout it... haiz... hope 1 day he'll be more "thoughtful"... not onli in arguement stuff... oso at the way he treat mi... haiz...
anyway after eating i went hosp... jie say mama wan see mi... i jiu go... actuali today no go coz got test till late... then not going... but went there anyway... 8 plus reach... pei mama till 9 then uncle send mi & jie hm... mama look weak today... she look breathless... she din eat anythin at all... haiz... mama muz hang on...

recently i feel some distance between us... i dunno y but i juz feel it... i feel sho insecure... somehow feel an unstable de feeling... hope it's juz dat i'm too sensitive... hope nothin ish happening... hope we wun "argue" as in verbally go against each other... hope there will be more peace... haiz... i try not to thin on the bad side... i try to thin bout the brighter side le... i dunno wat else to do le... i reali scare 1 day i'll let go... and i noe if the day come... we wun be able to get back... coz there are too many stuff to consider le... i noe he'll oso have unhappy stuff bout mi... but nobody noe... coz he dun say... maybe he scare i over reacted... haiz... lets pray... hopefully....

[[ giving in coz i love you... giving up coz i love you too... ]]
[[ neva noe when someone will reali let go ]]
[[ sorry seems to be the hardest word ]]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

moody~

2006-07-17T01:32:00.000+08:00

well... recently... hosp life carry on... erm... bout mama?? doc say she's better... can go back next week... but she dun look dat gd larz... today she look breathless... 1 thin ish... she can't come back hm yet... coz nobody will be free to take care of her... we gonna study... daddy gonna wk... gonna bring her to those care centre... ko lianz de mama... can't come hm... miss you & ur voice... when will u be back??
well today a bit moody... thinking of the word trust... gonna earn it man... can't ask someone to trust u for nothin... the most important thin in a relationship ish oso trust... well... nothin happenn between mi & him... onli say say nia... hehe... anyway all the best to all... gonna rest le... tml got tp re-test... hope can pass... haven memorise fomulars... hehe... jia you to all frenz who got re-test...

[[ happy b'day ah bao, zhi hao(sis bf) and myself(chi b'day)... wahaha ]]
[[ loving you~ ]]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

days in hosp...

2006-07-11T23:12:00.000+08:00

fri & sat ish my turn to stay to take care of mama... on fri she was sho breathless... she can't slp... keep moving tube de position... then i busy helping her wif the tube & water... then she keep taking out hp to see the wallpaper... the phone ish mi & jie jie get for her de... thin she reali like the wallpaper... then dat nitez i can't sit sia... i wan rest she ask mi do things... then end up hong her slp around 3 plus... then i can get some rest... dat day not enough rest... coz wake up earli for lesson... sat after when sis reach then i went hm slp... evening go visit mama again... then sat nitez stay in hosp wif acc mama... i went resting area study when she slping... coz i wanna study a bit for next week re-test... she wake up can't find mi then she angry... after dat i dare not leave the room... she injected med dat day to make her feel better... sho she wun feel breathless... doc say breathless ish worse than dying... it feel like drowning... but all make her drowsiness... dat nitez she slp soundly... but i can't slp... coz got a auntie keep shouting whole nitez... she wanna go hm... then i try make her quiet... she quiet for 1 hr then shout again... i can't rest... sho tired... on sun i din go back rest in the noon coz nitez i not staying wif her... wanna acc her longer... when hm at nitez... mama recently bad temper... keep throwing temper at mi... not others but mi... haiz... but nvm... i din blame her... sun & mon daddy acc her... but today nobody wif her... sho worry... the auntie in the ward say they'll help mi keep an eye on her... thanx auntie... tml dun have to go sch... but going cut hair... coz ppl say if ppl pass away in ur fam u can't cut hair... then my mama anytime will leave... coz doc say she haven pass the danger period though she look alright... oh ya... the stupid assistant doc keep saying mama wan leave le... he sux... i still prefer her cancer doc... thanx doc & nurse for taking care of my mama...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

mama i love u...

2006-07-07T01:07:00.000+08:00

rexently have been busy wif project & mama... mama have been admitted to the hosp on tues... sorry mama... i doing project... can't pei u go... but lucky uncle come fetch her... on my way hm... auntie call mi and she ish crying... mama gonna leave mi... her breathing weak & bp low... mi daddy & kor rush down to hosp... uncle come fetch us... after reachin... doc say mama better le... but still scare... daddy stay in hosp wif mama... then we went back... coz tml got sch... wed i launch my project... then half way aunt call mi go hosp cpz mama weak... i tell lect then chiong take cab down... then alot of ppl oso go down even ah bao... then mama can't talk... haiz... but she become better le... dat night jie jie & her bf stay wif her... then she at night wan give up herself... she pull away the tube... mama muz hang on... my sis talk to her then make her go slp... today morning she oso remove tube... then my aunt go talk to her... then everyone ask her dun do silly thin... mi do a tee design for her... but she seems not dat interested... she today behave like kids... keep throwing temper... mama... dun give up wor... we'll be there for u... but this oso show dat she's getting better bahz... hope sho... jia you mama... though doc say if she can go hm... if her condition okie... can go for therapy... but i thin her condition can't go for therapy... but if she can't continue... she onli left wif 4 to 6 months of life... mama... no matter wat we love u... muackz...

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

2006-06-25T20:47:00.000+08:00

this week i pass veri fast... mon to thurs went hosp wif mama... but mon onli acc mama there jiu go sch for project le... then went bugis there see project stuff... bi acc mi coz he oso in sch anyway... then jie jie take care of mama... tues to thurs mi acc mama go hosp then go ah yi house then go back hosp pei mama then bring mama hm... tues got jie jie pei... but wed & thurs jie jie down wif fever then i go alone... thurs mama leg swallon... coz too much water intake then too lil out... xia dao wo... sho worry... wed bi got come acc mi fetch mama coz i alone... then got alot of thin to take... reali appreciate it... fri ish my turn to see doc le... sho ex sia... but happy dat no need eat med le... but do a blood test coz i having flu... doc scare ish my thyroid then got flu de... the blood test result not gd... mon need have blood test again... but i thin i other day then go... hehe... fri de eyes check up okie... doc say will put med but no put... onli put iodine... but dat day quite disappointed... coz bi actuali say wanna come fetch mi... scare mi can't see coz actuali got put med marz... but in the end he din come... i went hm alone... haiz... out of sho many days... he onli came 1 day... & ish i ask him come de... thin if i din ask he oso wun come... though fri i ask him dun come... but if he got the heart to come he will de.. but he din.. haiz... quite sad... but....... gers ish always kou shi xing fei de... say they dun wan... actuali they wan... haiz.. guy juz dun understand gers... yest (sat) ish mi & bi half yr le... tot dat he will bring mi out... end up din... we juz rot at his house... his house... i went out to acc him but end up at his house... haiz... today he went out wif his frenz at nitez... sad... we say wan save up sho din go out yest... but today he went makan wif his frenz... sad... today i din go out... coz jie go out... then i acc mama... but bi din even come acc mi or wat... yest he say afternoon can acc mi... haiz...

getting more disappointment... y can't he juz stay by mi when i need him... haiz... izzit enough juz to meet mi once in a while?? i meet him coz i miz him... now he noe i can take care of myself le he jiu neglect my feelings le... where ish the sam i use to noe at qs?? he use to acc mi even if i dun ask him to... he use to check out when i wk... but now everythin ish diff... haiz... tears juz roll down when i thin bout it... guys reali will get bored bout meeting gers?? i dun wanna tell u all this coz i wan u to do thin from ur heart... & not do wat i ask u to do... haiz... pls tell mi wat to do... haiz...

mama eat lesser everyday... & she slp more... sho sad to see her like dat... mama muz jia you... hang on... eat more... love u mama...

[[ though i complain bout this relationship... but everyone will sure complain bout their relationship... half yr of time spend together ish not dat easy to let go... i reali hope dat 1 day he'll be by my side... love u bi~ ]]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

gd or bad

2006-06-16T13:02:00.000+08:00

hmmm... today friday le.. sho fast... 1 week holiday gonna end.. 2nd week coming soon... well... this week i've been quite busy... busy going hosp & wk... wake up earli everyday... sho tired... tues dat ish 13 june... went sentosa wif bi bi.. not go beach wor... ish go watch the 4D magix... & play golf... it's juz mini golf... hehe... thanz bi bi... hehe... reali enjoy... muackz... u spend alot on mi... sorry... next time my turn to treat...

wed ish a bad day... go take mama report... haiz... mama de liver oso have a lump... next week starting therapy... she's sho scare of needle... and the therapy ish use needle de... 4 days a month... 6 hrs 1 day... sho long... ko lian de mama... hope she dun suffer... but lucky thin ish her bone din kena... hers ish 4th stage le... mama muz be strong... doc say it can't be cure... onli can control spreading & prolong her life... jia you mama... u gonna see jie jie grad de... u oso gonna see ah yong *my cousin* get marry de...
after going take report... go watch movie wif hui they all... tot onli a few of us going... end up alot of ppl go... dunno y... but lucky jamie dun mind... sorry jamie... i reali dunno... garfield ish nice... sho ko ai... juz feel like hugging it...

yest go for blood test... the nurse sux... she can't find her holder... then guess where she found it?? she found it in the bin... she use the same glove to go into the bin & on my hand... she wanted to clean the holder then use it on mi.. sux... but her frenz lend her a holder... sux lorz... she din even clean her glove before touchin mi... sux... i give her a face thru out the injection.. she simply sux...

then the rest of the week onli wk wif mama & slack wif bi bi... bi... hope u'll be there for mi... sometimes reali disappointed wif wat u say or do... but dunno how to tell u... this few days i somehow not free still try my best go meet u... u din reali bother to come find mi... nvm... i noe u no consession... but hope it wun be an excuse if i reali need u...

[[ pray hard that god dun make mama leave us... ]]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

happy moment always wun last forever...

2006-06-08T11:41:00.000+08:00

last sunday was fun wor... went climbing & walking for more than 10km wif sam & his aunt... wow... amelia walk sho long... can imagine?? i thin we took 3 hrs plus... got pics to share too... next time lazy upload... after the walk sho hungry sia... hehe... pass by a monkey... it's sho near... near than dat time at sembawang wor.. hehe... going exercise before exams ish great man.. u relax before u study... today last paper le... but ish tp... tp sux... dun understand sia... but lucky jie jie go thru wif mi... somehow understand a bit... ltr do pass yr paper before sit for paper... hope can pass... pass jiu hao le... today com lag lag de... dunno y... com guai guai... hehe...

gers... got a bad news... my mummy de cancer spread to her whole lung le... both lung oso kena... now ish middle stage le... then she need go regular check up again... haiz... i dunno how to tell all of u... if anyone read this wanna tell the rest... go ahead... but if wei noe it... pls dun cry... dun worry bout mi & my fam... we somehow expected it le... juz hope dat the person who need to do somethin will do... mammy... pls dun leave mi... if u reali tired & have to leave... i wun stop... coz u have suffer for yrs le... but u muz at least wait till jie jie graduate... if not daddy & us will have to suffer alot... i love u mammy...

[[ mammy i love u ]]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

love u...

2006-06-03T00:56:00.000+08:00

omg... it's sho near to exams.. today juz done wif first paper... lucky last min understand it.. this few days go out wif jamie... then talk to her alot... she ish a fortunate & pampered ger... hehe... juz dun like ppl bully her... she maybe playful & wild at times but she's nice... harmless... hehe... wed went bugis wif jamie... she go change her default bag... but thurs then have stock... wahaha... she going back on sun after wk... ko lianz... we saw a funny thin... we saw ppl kena summon coz jay walk... wahaha... funny... coz got 2 white uniform ppl between the road to fine ppl... but quite alot of ppl ran off... hehe.. 1st time see... hehe... mi saw alot of thin i like sia... broke le jiu see sho many thin... sux... nvm... shop jiu hao... dun buy... hehe... then we went back quite earli coz i tired... hehe... pai sehz arhz jamie...
thurs after sch meet jamie, jeff, cheng & max study a bit then go c1 eat dinner jiu go hm le...
whereas today 11 jiu finish lesson le... prac cancel... hehe... slack...... then after went hm then meet mei go suntec... jamie pon lesson go wif us... hehe... got electronic & book fair... mei bought canon printer... rich ger... but she sch need for project... bo pian... hehe... bibi come find mi wif ken after lunch... then he acc us until we take cab go off... then he go electronic fair wif ken... we kena a veri farked up cab driver.. mei alight at blk 4 but we need go back sch for foop paper... we ask uncle u-turn... go from hv there... uncle say here can u-turn mehz?? then i say can la... i always see ppl u-turn here de marz... then he say mi... m i the police?? wahz lao... f lorz... i say i leave here sho long i should noe it lorz... then he keep saying m i the police... sux... if he wan say say in a proper way marz... sux lorz... he go another way oso can go de... but turn here & there... same de... but his attitude... i feel like alighting then dump the $$ to him lorz... sux... he sux~!!! scare we late for paper then dun alight lorz... this driver sux~!!! silver cab black listed le... sux~!!! red cab oso black listed... coz jamie say meter jump veri fast.. hehe... i prefer yellow cab... hehe... tml bibi got paper... jia you bibi...

[[ bi... sometime i mistaken u... sorry... i try my best to use a better tone to talk to u le... hope it'll not affect our relationship... i'll neva give up on this relationship... i hope dat u dun give up too... though disappointment stack up... but i will use our sweet memories to cover up... love u... ]]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

unwanted toy...

2006-05-25T23:22:00.000+08:00

hmmm... today juz watch da vinci wif jamie, hui, sam & kenneath... still got parts dat i dun understand... but nvm... juz let it be... today got lots of tots to share...
hmmm... (some stuff below i oso dunno wat i typing... can ignore if u dun understand)
nobody ish perfect??
ya... i strongly agree...
juz like finding a bf or gf... u'll either get a bf dat ish veri gd to u but not thoughtful enough or u'll find 1 dat ish veri thoughtful but not gd to u enough...
as for gf... u'll either get someone who ish pretty but unreasonable or a not pretty but reasonable... the worse... u'll get someone who ish not pretty yet unreasonable like mi...
gers ish a soft-hearted creature... sho easily be talk over... juz keep treating them gd they'll love u whole heartedly... y?? haiz... & end up being hurt themselves... love reali hurts alot...
guys... they always change... either by peer or themselves... before they have u as their ger... they do everythin for u... but once they got u... everythin start to change... y?? reali hate it... haiz...
i get lazy on myself but guys get lazy on gers... dun get wat i mean... well... i'll starve myself coz lazy go get food... but when i need to do somethin for the guy... i wun be sho lazy... but guys... they are not lazy to get food for themselves... but they are lazy to do thin for ger... wat the... haiz... how can guy understand gers & gers understand guys... communication may not wk out everytime... i learn my mistake... haiz...
gers are always emo & sensitive but guys always wun understand... they juz use bo liaoz & unreasonable to discribe the act of gers...
guys......
i reali can't understand them... who can teach mi how to understand them better... i've learn & attempt not to show my temper... but when disappointment stack up... it will over flow... haiz... all the best for myself bahz... life gonna go on... haiz...

there are some distance appearing... i dunno how & wat i can do... if u love mi... u'll attempt to get mi back by ur side... dun ever give up... everythin need time... if u fail... dun give up... coz i still love u... i will neva stop loving u... i might have the day i can't be by ur side... i wun give up... i juz need u to get mi back...

pls pick mi up from the unwanted toy... i juz need you to love mi...

[[ i dunno wat i can do if nobody gonna do anythin... ]]
[[ i wish i have the you i use to noe... ]]
[[ i tears i shed in my heart... who noes... ]]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

night safari

2006-05-20T13:55:00.000+08:00

wow... blogging again... hehe... after going prawning... bibi brought mi to go fishing wor... if i not wrong ish on 6 may... hehe... and recently de activity ish yest... actuali i was thinkin go kbox... long long no go le... but bi bi say he intend to bring mi to night safari... of coz choose dat larz... kbox can go anytime de... hehe... love bi bi... we ask ya mei along... actuali wanna acc her go clementi pasamalam de... but in the end go safari... hehe... sho fun... see alot of animal... but din manage to see monkey... they onli active in the day time... hehe... but see some look like monkey... sho cute... hehe... we go sit tram oso got walk walk... go see bat closely... in front of us got a group of kids & 2 parents... then they damn noisy... sux... screaming like hell... if scare jiu dun come in larz... 2 ang moh came in & ask them quiet... reali damn noisy... feel like sewing their mouth up... got a few kids before entering say dun wan enter le... their parent ask them go... end up screaming... the mother oso scare still ask them go... sux lorz... but our trip not spoil... saw close view of tigger sia... the tired ish juz a glass away from us... he walk towards & pose... sho shuai... but he pee on the glass sia... funny sia... i tot he wan show us butt... then see somethin white on glass... tot ish he fart... but see carefully ish he pee... funny tigger... the onli thin we miz to see ish the wolf... we onli manage to hear it... hippo ish sho fat sia... oso see a close view of the animal dat eat ant... juz next to us... forget the name... onli rmb it ish big & in black & white de... eat ants oso can sho big... wahaha... saw black bear... feel like touching it... hehe... see alot of animal... though same as book drawing... but ish upsize de... reali big sia... mousedeear de baby ish damn small & cute... alot diff from the big one... hehe... 28 bucks reali worth going... hehe... thanz bi bi & mei for the night... reali veri happy... love u 2... oh ya... thanz mei got the pink panter oso... hehe...

[[ love my bi bi more & more each day ]]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

fun day...

2006-05-05T08:08:00.000+08:00

wow... sho fast end of the week le... tml no sch... hehe... this week quite fast... coz onli study for 4 days... monday, 1st may... labour day & it's a fun day... hehe... woke up earli go see monkey at sembawang wif dear de fam wor... hehe... sho cute sia... after that go pasir ris prawning... end up catch fish instead... din catch any prawn at all... fishing/prawning sho fun... wahaha... went changi see plane & feel the sea... hehe... sho fun... hehe... juz came back from breakfast... lesson half way meet jamie go eat... hehe... yummy... my stomach love mi... hehe... muz do wk le... tata... tc my frenz... dear wan bring mi go fishin soon... yeah... :p

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

happy april fool...

2006-04-02T05:56:00.000+08:00

happy april fool to all my frenz... got kena fool?? hehe... a bit late... wahaha... coz no time blog... hehe... happy b'day to my dearest cousin cynthia... hehe... now time ish 6:55am... hehe... dear went m'sia yest... but nvm... tonitez can see him le... miz him... hehe... guess wat i did for april fool?? i din trick ppl wor... surprise horz?? hehe... mi went celebrate my cousin b'day wif my sis, esther & cyn frenz... almost all of them vomit... but lucky i din... mi juz now damn high... now okie le... hehe... almost vomit sia... but din... go shit instead... opps... hehe... i thin cyn most drunk de... hehe... bo pianz... b'day ger... hehe... dear dear not around... but i still got msg him tell him i okie... thin he'll worry bout mi... hehe... i ask mao pei mi msg oso... hehe... gonna slp soon... hehe... tml bring dear de mei out... she alone at hm... hehe... sho ko lianz... hehe... broke le sia... but nvm... hehe... happy day today... coz can see dear soon... hehe... if u all kena fool muz share wif mi wor... wahaha... miz all my frenz too... awaiting for chalet to meet all of u... hehe...

[[ missing you dear ]]

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

once in a while...

2006-03-24T08:47:00.000+08:00

long long time din blog le... recently life ish juz slacking... today ish mi & dear 3rd months le... hehe... time pass fast sia... dun sho fast... dun wan sch start... wahaha... 2 weeks ago was fun... went west coast at nitez to play playground... then walk hm coz still earli... dat day mao de pants got sand then he took off in public to remove the sand... another incident ish... mao & dear throwing bottle to each other then mao de jeans accidently drop off... look sho dramatic sia... hehe... but the funny thin ish he juz tighten hao jiu drop... wahaha... oso went jurong swimming... fun fun week... hehe... last week learn to play num ball... brought sam's sis out... met bao... sho long no meet her... hehe... ltr can meet hui they all le... hehe... sho long no meet sia... miz sho many ppl... recently onli meet dear, mao & mei... mei oso heardly le... she now studying... dun wan disturb... hehe... ltr oso getting result... all the best to mi & dear bahz... hope can continue study... sch days ish always better than wking days... hehe... not sho much to worry bout... ltr gonna go appt... hope can dun eat med le... sho sick of it... hehe... recently maple ish part of my life... everytime free jiu maple... nothin to do marz... but juz realise i pump wrong thin gonna retrain new char... heart pain sia... lvl 30 le then noe... sux... hehe... now lvl 23 le... gonna jia you... dear waiting for mi to lvl up... hehe... will update as & when i free... hehe...

[[ loviing you~ ]]

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

happy v'day...

2006-02-15T03:14:00.000+08:00

Happy valentine's day to all my frenz... hehe... bit late... hehe... today got ocassion then come blog... hehe... guess wat i bought for dear dear?? i bought a wallet for him... i decide on the design myself de wor... sho li hai rite?? dear dear de taste always weird weird de... yest go shop wif mao... he oso dunno dear will like marz... then we keep saying dear de taste weird weird then mi oso seems weird le... coz mi ish his gf... his taste of ger... dots... hehe... then yest actuali ish pei mao mao go shop for mei stuff... end up i oso got buy... hehe... mao bought a levis long sleeve top for mei... hehe... hai us go whole bugis, ps, centre point then at last found at heeren... then mao treat mi eat ljs... hehe... saw nerd at ljs... sho qiao... happy to see him... sho long no see le... hehe...

this yr de v'day quite happy... though went out late & spend less time together... but overall still happy... hehe... meet mei at 6 plus then dear came holland give mi surprise... hehe... then we went ps eat cafe cartel... mao msg mei but no reply... mao tot mei dun wan meet... but when i call mei she say okie... i thin she tot i told mao le... then mao de frenz wanna go mao house... somethin to do wif his frenz gf de stuff... then he try meet us asap... hehe... mao mao today still gonna run around... today buy flower... then he go ikea, anchor point & tiong find blue rose for mei... hehe... dear ask mao shun pian help him buy... *no sincere* but nvm... he no time go buy... i thin ish my violet rose make mao run around de... coz mine more diff buy... hehe... pai sehz... ma fan ni le... hehe... mei oso got buy thin for mao wor... surprise wor... hehe... she bought adidas perfume... no remove price tag... *she's always sho blur* then i saw it... hehe... guess wat dear give mi?? a file dat he decorate himself... sho nice... hehe... love it... *thanz* muackz... ps outside got sell balloon & flower... then actuali i still di siao say ltr can sa jia flower de price then mao can buy for mei... hehe... but when reach outside... sho pai sehz to say anythin... coz mi ger marz... then weird weird de... ma jiam wan the guy to buy like dat... hehe... dear dear bought 2 balloon for mi & mei... the heart shape balloon i long to have... hehe... sho happy... purple somemore... actuali i like the pink one last time... hehe... then after dat they bought another rose for us... mei de still blue... mine de somethin near to pink... *thanz* hehe... after dat we walk down to heeren... intend to go eat again coz i dun feel full... mei wanna go hm... mao wanna send mei hm... waited quite sometime for cab then late le... sho i tell dear i dun wan eat... we all go hm... tml got sch... * i not going anyway* hehe... exams coming... sianz... hope can pass... hehe... jia you for my frenz too...

[[ when i told u i'd love u foreva, i lied... foreva ish not enough... ]]

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

1st month of our long journey...

2006-01-24T00:11:00.000+08:00

now ish 24 jan le... have been wif dear for a month le... thanz dear for the happy moment spent wif u... *love love* we have somehow get to noe each other better le... we din reali quarrel wif each other... juz sometime i not happy bout thin then the most we talk bout it jiu okie le... hopefully all this will last... hehe... thanz for tolerating my temper when i not enough slp or bad mood... *ilu* & thanz for not showing temper... my love... muackz... i'll continue to be better... i wanna be the one u will point to & say it's her... juz wan have simple life... i'm juz a plain piece of paper which u'll paint colour on... thanz for painting a smile... *ilu* muackz...

[[ if nothin last forever, will you be my nothin~ ]]

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

hopefully~

2006-01-16T12:00:00.000+08:00

hopefully my life will get better... maybe i should say our life get better... *ilu*

i miz u gers... gathering~?!?! hehe... erm... anyone tell mi how's teck~?? he last mon go in hosp then how le~?? i din have chance to ask u guys... keep mi update wor... hope to see u guys damn soon... hehe...

[[ i ' m s h o i n l o v e w i t h y o u ]]

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

happy new yr...

2006-01-10T02:38:00.000+08:00

it's a new yr... 2006 le... hehe... this yr i wanna change a new blog skin for new beginning... but gonna wait till i free bahz... no time for dat... hehe... recently oso dunno busy doing wat... but somehow lazy blog... erm... today went out eat fish & co wif dear dear... treat dear dear eat coz yest he bought a skirt for mi... hehe... the skirt ish he choose de wor... hehe... like it lots... *muackz* yest went shop wif mei... bought a top... at last buy somethin for new yr le... then today bought a bag... i thin gonna get a new shoes... but still can't find somethin i like lehz... hehe... should go shop more... hehe... tml gonna rot at hm... dear wking... nobody jio mi out... hehe... somehow save up for end of month use & next month lorz... this month end 1 month wif dear... gonna thin wat to buy... then next month v'day & 2 months ish sho near... 10 days diff nia... gonna save up for dat... not wking de life sho nan guo... gonna save... hehe... dear wking but dun wan use his $$... he oso gonna buy his own stuff de... hehe...

somehow i start to man yuan bout things dat happen between us... but i try to tell myself dat i can't man yuan... it's my choice... i gonna love him for who he ish... like wat he's doing... sorry dear... sometime my temper ish bad... i dun wan let it out jiu become veri quiet or moody... i dun wan to end up quarrelling... sho i choose to keep in silence... sorry for not saying out... but sometime somethin ish better left unsaid... coz ish i expecting some stuff from u... but i din get wat i wan... *not gift... u noe wat i mean bahz...* sho ish i expect too much le... but if i tell u le... u are juz doing wat i say jiu ish not u le... u are juz wat i wan & not wat u are... get it~?? sho i din say out... & sorry for not telling this to u... i realise recently our conversation ish onli half... i try to say juz now... but said half of it onli... u noe where i stop... ish like always not complete kind... but i dunno y... sho maybe it's better writing it here then u free jiu can come read read... but i realise i dunno wat u thinking... dat's guys... they always keep in silence... hope to noe how u thin too bahz... hopefully no communication breakdown... hehe... *ilu* muackz...

[] perfect love -=- loving an imperfect you perfectly... => []

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

changing...

2005-12-29T02:32:00.000+08:00

juz feel like finding ppl to talk to... but thin whoeva i talk to oso will give mi same ans... sure ask mi dun thin too much... i noe dun thin too much... but i can't... juz find dat i behave weird this few days... dunno y... i believe dar oso feel dat... talk to him bout it... erm... oso ask mi dun thin too much... sho decided to fan my blog... hehe... i become veri quiet wor... dun reali talk dat much this few days... like change le... i dun like... i wan to be talkative... hehe... erm... weird mi... but dat's the amelia i used to be... hmmm... bu xi huan now de mi... hehe... juz feel bad for dar dar... he keep on entertaining mi... sorry dar... i try to react le... but somehow weird... all i can say ish weird... erm... hopefully wun affect mi & dar dar relationship... anyway... still need bit more time to adapt to his lifestyle too... hehe... today dar came down holland pei mi eat dinner wor... sho happy... tot today cannot see him... hehe... i feel dat i like too long no go into relationship le... a bit weird weird de... still not use to it bahz... somehow still quite fresh... let time prove everythin bahz... hopefully both of us can go thru this... hehe... we gonna jia you together dar dar... hehe... *muackz* i still thin i'm weird... nvm... at least i realise... xing ku ni le dar dar... *love u* hehe... -shy- now trying to make myself feel tired... nvm... go bed lie down... hopefully can get to slp... hehe...

[[ changing~ hopefully to the better... ]]

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

thanz des...

2005-12-28T03:49:00.000+08:00

the 1st thin i gonna say ish thanz des... reali... well... everyone will thin... des~?? ya him... thanz... juz had a chat wif him at msn... he ask mi bout my partner... ya... he noe sam... praising him some more... hehe... he'll fly if he see this... wahaha... talk to him bout the prob between mi & my dear... erm... sorry dear... i still need sometime... but now... after chatting wif des... decision ish out... i juz cut thin short... des told mi i can have a gd talk wif my dear dear or juz kick it off my brain... i reply him dat sam din explain anythin... sho i assume some stuff better left unsaid... coz i'm afraid to noe the reason behind it too... maybe it's reali better not say out... i thin we'll be happier... sho i shouldn't anyhow thin le... dun keep asking myself y le... should come to an end le... juz let the matter come to an end... gonna ask myself dun anyhow thin... bo pianz... gers like to anyhow thin de... hehe... thanz des... another thin bout confident... i thin i muz let it rest too... coz it will end up as a barrier between mi & dear... i wan him to see the smile i used to have... :) hehe... dear... i'm sorry... i'll smile more... be the 1 u used to noe & love... hehe... tml onwards i'll spend most of my time on studies le... next week jiu test le... still got alot to chiong... hehe... dat means less time wif dear dear le... dun miz mi too much... hehe... jia you wor dear... muz study arhz... hehe... hopefully after this week we got more to talk & more laughter... *love you* opps... -blush- hehe... go slp le... tml gonna start study le... jia you for myself & frenz too...

[[ dar... though u din ask or say anythin bout my feelings... u juz trust mi... i noe it... wanna tell u... i love u... give mi ur heart & trust.... i'll treasure it... u can neva be replace... love u lotz... *muackz* hopefully no more sorry... ]] *a bit mushy* hehe...

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

love my hubby

2005-12-27T02:40:00.000+08:00

[[ well well... oh ya... dat day go watch king kong... i lose my earring... left side... sianz half... always like dat... ]]

today ish the 26 dec or should i say 27 dec... i thin i start from 24th dec... hmmm... i've accept him... sho my life ish brighten le... time to say who he ish le... it's sam... guess most of you noe long ago le... hehe... erm... i thin the barrier ish no longer the guy... ish myself... somehow no much confident... i dunno y... but i thin i need sometime... but i noe he's my life now... he's my everythin... i can't let him go... i can't afford to... erm... i thin coz the time we spend together before we are together ish alot... the kinda feelings ish quite strong le... hehe... somehow scare dat coz i'm his 2nd gf... then scare he'll wanna 'try' being wif other char or wat de gers... i'm scare... but i gonna trust him... time will prove everythin... *muackz* hehe... x'mas eve went meet wei to take the x'mas gift... we went great world coz we tot not much ppl will go there... hehe... nesh came meet us then we went ks play pool... coz wei thin no place go today... hubby came to surprise mi... din noe he coming sia... hehe... hub hub won a tigger from the ks arcade outside dat machine... onli use 3 bucks... hehe... sho happy... hehe... after playing pool... nesh went meet frenz then wei went hm... hub hub pei mi while waiting for all the rest to contact mi... we went tiong spend all the time... coz meeting place ish around tiong... waited damn long sial... hui 1st to reach... then gene came meet hub for a while... he's wif a ger... should say foreva de... hehe... hubby din go meet his frenz... guess partly oso coz of mi... thanz... *muackz* hehe... mei 2nd to reach... can imagine the time?? she finish wk then come... mao mao 3rd... hubby saw the present... but he din suspect ish my gift to him... he believe ish mei wan give frenz de... coz he tot we say not to buy for each other then he din tot dat i'll buy... hehe... opps... :x sorry... din mean it... hehe... :p we decide to go tiong bahru park play 1st while waiting... coz we gonna rot soon... hehe... reach there jiu start playing le... sho happy... time spend wif hub & frenz are sho happy... everyone start coming le... hehe... mi & hub got bit of prob dat day... erm... dunno wan mention anot... promise hub dat we'll forget bout it... but nvm... i juz write... erm... clara & frenz went tiong then when they came back... mi & hub ish on the top of the playground train... seeing stars... sho sweet... then i was lying on him... i saw clara they all coming back... then hub say dun feel like letting clara noe... i oso dunno y... but juz feel pain in heart... i jiu neva reali talk to him after he say dat... i try not to thin... the gift giving thin not veri success... coz i drop clara give de choc... sorry... i din mean it... i reali din see the opening there... sorry... thin always happen between mi & her... haiz... sorry... she say wanna get a new gift... sorry... reali feel bad... haiz... the gift giving to hubby should say somehow success... but hub de expression not i expected de... i thin he too pai sehz to talk le... hehe... after dat we start changing present... hub help mi pick present from sok... hehe... it's a red pig... sho huggie kind... hehe... i can't pack my feelings well... i still thinking bout wat hub say... then keep quiet for quite sometime... but try act normal in front of hub... but he feels dat somethin wrong wif mi... sorry... i din wanna spoil mood at dat moment sho i keep silence... erm... mei asked mi wat happen... feel better after talking... but still..... hmmm... dun understand y... until now... i still dunno y... but nvm... gonna forget as wat we say at roof... i told him i unhappy when we at roof... he guess dao wat happen then we jiu promise to forget... hope i can let go... coz i say i'll... sho i muz... jia you... hehe... after roof... we went hm... coz all damn tired...

yest went hub house pei him... watch lord of the ring... we watching vcd to kill time recently... go out muz spend alot sial... sho rather stay at hm rot... can keep each other acc some more... hehe... talk bout leaving kinda thin wif hub... sho scare dat he'll leave... actuali he have been in my life for quite long le... if he suddenly leave i dunno wat i can or will do sial... he say he oso scare this will happen... hope no one thinks bout leaving... if no one thin jiu no one will say jiu nothin will happen... my happily ever after... hehe... *love u hubby*

today went bugis wif hub... went each v8... we 2 not much $$ but still went eat... hehe... but price okie... quite reasonable... after dinner... we went suntec... actuali wanna go fountain... but in the end we din go... hub hub catch a tigger from arcade for mi... this time 2 bucks onli... hehe... sho xing fu de mi... hehe... 3rd tigger from hub hub le... next time take pics... hehe... mao ask us wanna go play pool marz... we jiu agree lorz... coz oso nothin do... on the bus to hub house... go ppl vomit... make both of us feel sho disgusted... we faster go to level 1 of the bus... eee... sho er sial... went we reach hub house... mao say not going le... sianz half... but mao came meet us... i went hm change then we go cycle... as in they cycle... then hub give mi a ride... xing ku ni le... *muackz* thanz... hehe... we went clementi eat... guess which way they go from~?? they go dat path where ppl go there run de... damn quite & scary sial... hehe... damn tired now... go slp le... recently get used to slp earli & wake up around 12 le... thanz hub... make mi have this habit... hehe... life reali changes wif u around mi... *muackz*

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

happily ever after...

2005-12-21T15:00:00.000+08:00

erm... this few days alot of thin happen sia... dunno where to start... & how to... erm... let's start wif... erm...mi go see doc... sat got make up lesson for sw... then gonna go back sch at 8... sho earli... guess wat we do~?? volleyball~?? no way... we are doing some human domino thingy... which require us to sit under the hot sun on the track... then gonna drop like a domino & lie on ur frenz... everybody will thin... guy & gers... ya... erm... jamie ish late... then when she reach... her group ish settle down le... sho mi this lil brain wanna save everyone jiu sabo her & ben... hehe... pai sehz... hehe... after dat meet sam, ricky, andy & frenz go makan mac... sho lucky of us... dun need queue... coz andy reach earlier than us... when we reach... he's rite in front of the queue... hehe... after eating... jamie bf came... he's late... yet he give kinda unhappy face... dunno izzit he always this face or wat... kinda thin... jamie ish sho ko lianz... but dare not tell her... i thin she can get someone better... somehow thin it's not her cup of tea... erm... dat's wat i thin... went see doc coz mama worry mi... i'm sick for 11 days on sat... then mama keep asking mi see doc... sam acc mi go see... at my house there... hehe... doc sho li hai... i din tell her i on medication she jiu noe le... hehe... after dat went hm prepare then went help kelly & bao buy movie ticket... happy 1 yr anniversary to them... hehe... went watch movie wif mei, sam & mao... oso same show wif bao... but get a far seat from them... let them have their own time... guess wat show~?? it's the promise... pls dun watch... reali sux... sam thin dat it a comedy... hehe... after the show... met bao & kelly go makan... but mi neva eat... too tired le... no mood to eat... erm... dat day everyone kinda moody... suan-ing each other kind... erm... kinda weird... mi damn shag dat day... maybe coz of the med... reach hm jiu k.o le...

erm... now ish time bout mi & my lil someone... dun wan tell u guys who izzit 1st... :p hehe... erm... somehow feel dat i've found my lil someone... someone who will accept mi for who i am... hehe... happy for mi~?? but everythin have not started... hehe... erm... actuali it shd be a talk to my lil someone dat day... making thin clear dat it may not have a starting... telling him feelings ish not there... i did try search for feelings... coz he's reali gd to mi... i thin i've found some feeling... but uncertain bout it... hehe... but... after the lil talk... thin somehow become better... we tot dat we will not be dat close after saying out wat we thin... erm... he ish kind of person who avoid stuff de... but this time round... i make him face it... facing it together... hehe... we still can be as close as the past... or even closer... coz we noe how each other feels... he tell mi y he went mia dat time... *thin u all noe who le* & all other stuff... sorry... we both dun like ppl saying this... but it's reali a need... sorry for making u mia... u shd have ask mi wat it mean by my dp... but all this have let us have the chance to understand each other... thanz god... i wun wan to miz someone like him... he's someone who wun mind who i am now or even in the past... i thin this ish the best gift i ever receive... juz him... but there's still barrier between us... dat ish "him"... i still need sometime... we have talk bout it... he noe it... he understand it... & i'll be giving him a reply... i dunno when... but... hope to remove the barrier 1st... it's unfair to him... thanz for the waiting time u spend on mi... more than half a yr le... i'm human... i noe it... now... i'm touched... ur waiting ish not a waste... & will be appreciate... hehe... now... i'm still trying to gather more feelings for my lil someone... hopefully no more hurting stuff between us... muackz...

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

[[--happily ever after...

steamboat day~!!

2005-12-11T05:03:00.000+08:00

i should start wif yest... yest went sam's house for steamboat... damn fun... sam fam went m'sia... onli left him... sho ko lian... hehe... decided to eat steamboat as a kind of belated b'day thin... hehe... finish sch at 3... waited for him go hm together but he got project thingy to do... sho... i went hm first... meet mei, mao & shanny at ps... went carrefore shop for food while waiting for sam... we bought 60 plus de food... sponsor by sam's mum... thanz... then go his house... become maria of the day... cut the food... mao went hm then come wif his bicycle... hehe... then mei ish the tai tai of the day... she watch tv while waiting to eat... & sam... he's banned from going into kitchen wif mi... going into wif him will make mi mad... but he thin it's fun... wahaha... his cutting skill ish damn "gd" sia... hehe... he did help larz... erm... not dat bad oso... hehe... he learn how to remove the plastic from crab stick... he's sho happy going in kitchen... hehe... we realise food too much after cutting everythin... & most of the food ish mao take de... wahaha... he ate quite alot... should say he ate the most of the food... hehe... sho fun... watch vcd while waiting for food to digest then continue eat... mei drink alcohol then keep saying headache... she seems like she drunk le... actuali ask her stay at sam house... but she say cannot slp at ppl house... hehe... i fell a slp while watching vcd... hehe... sho tired... hehe... when mao mao wake mi up ish 4 le... she told mi mei wanna go hm... i woke up... when out and saw everythin clear le... maria dun need do thin... wahaha... go wash up then send mei hm... slept at 6 plus... today woke up at 7 plus... slp till sho shiok... hehe... went eat wif sis & mammy... met sam, mao, mei & jong at qt club... then went holland grap some food jiu go hm le... & now ish my slping time... somehow can't slp... hehe... go lie on bed... tata...

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

hoping for a new start...

2005-12-05T01:30:00.000+08:00

now... the time ish 1.30 am... should say ish a veri earli morning of monday... 5th dec... well... guess y i will say all this... coz... i gonna blog stuff today ish i dun like de... somehow saddie kind... sho hoping after blogging... when i wake up... days after this will be happy & memorable... hehe... well... wat reali happen i oso cannot reali rmb all... but the thin dat i can clearly rmb ish... teck ish admitted into hosp... his lung collapse... omg~!! heard it from nesh... decide go visit him the next day... sho ko lian... i oso dunno how to write it out... but it's reali painful... went his house visit him instead... coz he discharge le... sho happy to noe he discharge... he's sho thin & pale... see le oso heart pain... onli mi, clara, nie & hui went visit him... the rest didn't go...

2nd thin ish sam went mia... for i thin 3 days?? dunno wat to say... somehow feel frenz missing kinda thin... starting mi damn worry... call him like hell... then rmb dat we say mia b4... then i guess he mia... ask mao help mi contact him... oso can't get him... msg him for 2 days... get a sorry as a reply... quite pissed... dunno wat ish happening... the day b4... everythin ish alright... since he wanna mia i jiu let him be lorz... he say he wan thin bout thin... jiu let him be better... haiz... i thin the happy thin ish he mia finish le... everythin ish back to normal le... maybe ish not dat close le bahz... haiz...

i thin a thin dat ish more happy than sad ish... bout my illness... doc say... i can eat seafood le~!! & i onli need eat 2 tablet instead of 3 each time... but still 3 times a day... erm... but doc say gonna eat at least 1 & half yr to 2... dat's a sad thin... sho long~!!! i'm going crazy~!! recently oso will nearly forget to eat med... starting to be forgetful... hehe... actuali ish all the while bahz...

some of the stuff happen dun need say le bahz... wat else ish diff... oh ya... i receive a msg from him... but dun wan tell ya content... wahaha... :p & an important thin... i've done the lil somethin i did for quite sometime... wat izzit oso dun wan say... coz he got see mi blog... dun wan let him noe wat izzit... achievement sia~!! hehe... but feelings when seeing his msg ish not dat strong le... hehe... thin everythin will be back to normal... hehe... but i'm veri happy dat i have been single for 8 months~!! believe it?? hehe... reali.. it's a kinda achievement... hehe... but guess it's my life for long... dun feel like being attached le... maybe it's onli for the time being or maybe for long.............

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

sho fun de day...

2005-11-27T01:22:00.000+08:00

hmmm... it have been long since i last blog... hmmm... well... nothin much happen... rmb dat i went kbox wif mei & sam on sun... sam 1st time go... go till 3... mon shag... training damn xin ku... thinking wan join vb marz... now sw damn fun... but dunno real training will be lagi tough marz... hehe... gonna keep fit... hehe... nan de thin stuff come out from mi... another thin ish pei jamie... hehe... she alone sia... hehe... tues went mei mama b'day celebration... went buy mei's present wif sam b4 dat... then sam pei mi go find them... but he went off after dat... which means... onli pei mi walk in... hehe... thanz... dat day was fun... play till veri crazy... thanz bei *big bf*, david *bf for the day* & mei *my gf*... wahaha... took few pics... damn crazy... hehe... then for wed... damn shag... mei b'day... cannot ko... we went town... watch harry porter... not bad... gonna see the next show... coz haven end... but cut off alot... story bk content got alot of pages... show onli 2 & half hr... where enough~?? hehe... we smuggle kfc in to eat... yummy... hehe... then ltr juz go opp cut cake... then play... mi ate half the cake... wahaha... thurs went hm rest... but didn't slp in the noon... onli slept earli... fri... still feeling tired... went hm at 2... shiok... love the lecturer sia... hehe... everytime earli release... hehe... nitez went play pool a while then went to reach for the sky... hehe... try to stand up... actuali ish not dat scary... as long as u are not trying to do stunt jiu wun drop le... hehe... went hm at around 2... everybody ish sho tired... hehe... stupid sam did stupid stunt... then his whole bike flip... sho scary... starting see like no injury... but after a while... all injury come out... all bleeding... aiyoz... scary lehz him... still can laugh... & sho happy dat he fall... crazy... hehe... whereas today... onli went eat wif fam jiu no go out le... too lazy... sam & mao go ks no jio... dun wan talk to them le... humph... ;p

i decide to buy him a x'mas present... sho i'll start saving up... shun pianz jian fei... hehe... i dunno i wan say dun wan him get wrong idea or hope he'll not forget there's still mi... dun bother bahz... better than thin like hell... hehe... hope he dun see this jiu can le... i dun thin he'll too... hehe...

x______ii missiing you_______x

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

some pics took on mama b'day...

mei b'day

3 shot... hehe...

2005-11-20T04:07:00.000+08:00

well... today iish a sat... or should i say yest... i didn't go for my make up lesson slp all the way till 6 plus... went eat wif jie... met mei, jong & mao a while jiu go hm le... met bei after alighting... then saw kevin... omg... damn long no see him... suddenly see him dunno wat to say sia... hehe... but happy to noe he's okie... hehe... well... yest... have test till 2... but i finish at 1... sho shiok... 5 de lesson 1 jiu finish le... wahaha... went bugis wif sam... then met mao, mei & jong at holland slack... sho sianz...

thurs ish a nightmare... go for blood test... went sch for presentation 1st then go blood test... went everywhere alone... sho ko lianz... guess wat... i went register then juz go straight to room 43... then the doc ask mi come back 2 hrs ltr... coz my blood test can mum mum de... ass... hungry... mi neva eat for the past hr coz of blood test... now say can eat... i told her i having lesson... cannot wait... then she say... come back tml lorz... f... i miz lesson for this lorz... i dun wan mark late or absent for this toopid thin... i wanna preserve when i wan pon lesson de lorz... ass... then she veri bu shuang de say... then u wait for 1 hr lorz... f........... i noe i should let those ppl who can't eat to go 1st... but her attitude sux... i'll feel dat my starvation ish worth if she use a better tone... i listen to music while waiting... then i realise they call names de... sho off my music... watch tv instead... hehe... i realise i'm the youngest there... i'm sho young... hehe... half an hr ltr... she at last call mi... when in wait a while jiu my turn le... i saw her take out 3 empty tube... i told myself... i gonna faint for sure... this time cannot scream for help le... coz i'm alone... gonna act brave... i see her poke the needle into my skin... she search for my veins sia...she didn't poke the right place... then keep saying ur veins will run de... last time dat private doc take not like dat lorz... *no skill* wahaha... veri pain lorz... ko lianz mi... she found it at last... blood rush down... she took the 1st tube easily... the 2nd tube... i can feel my fingers numb... my blood somehow stop... then she say... wow... ur blood will stop de... then she remove the needle a bit then poke in again... she sux... damn pain lorz... then she say... i need at least 2 tube... i was thinking *blood guai guai come out... PAIN~!!!* in the end... she took 2 tube... sho ko lianz de mi... then took cab back sch went eat wif jamie & frenz... dunno still got how many blood test to go b4 cured... i guess b4 cure... i'll die due to lack of blood... wahaha... sho tired de day...

x_______ii missiing you________x

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

happy b'day rara...

2005-11-15T00:06:00.000+08:00

yest... clara b'day... happy b'day ger... her gift ish all last min buy de... hehe... pai sehz... we went shop fpr 2 days... but can't find stuff for her... hehe... i met ivy earli then meet clara, clara bf *cedric* & shanny at bugis... we went ljs coz cedric haven eat... sok, liang & teck met us there... liang & teck bought a big mickey for her... wow... sho xin fu... we went shop then went suntec... hehe... met nie, robin, vincent & nesh... vincent hair ish blue... wow... we went pizza hut eat... after eating... mi, ivy & hui went buy cake... run like hell... shun pian shop then bought a necklace for her... hehe... play cake again... clara & her bf kena di siao by mi... she seems unhappy bout it... then her bf make mi back... i thin she dun feel gd bout it bahz... sorry... i noe how it feels like when the 1 u like playing wif another ger... i kena b4... by a "her"... haiz... dun say le... will make mi & "her" friendship no gd... haiz... back to clara... hope she wun get it wrong... mi now reali treasure friendship... maybe ish coz quarrel till sianz le... hope she understand no one can replace him in my heart for the time being... he still stand a veri important & special place in my heart... hehe... dreamt bout him recently... not much stuff... 1 ish dream till i cry... i oso forget wat dream le... but i noe i woke up wif tears in my eyes... then the 2nd de ish bout we patch up... sho happy... & yest ish he cycle a red bike... sho cool... hehe... but all this wun happen de... hehe... juz can dream... actuali i sometime thin... do i wan him back~?? i oso dunno... haiz... call him yest ask him where got bakery shop in suntec... sho happy he pick up... though it's juz a few sentences... i still veri happy to noe he's okie... hehe... mi wan go slp le... tata...

x______i missiing you_______x

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

slping time

2005-11-10T22:59:00.000+08:00

now ish about my slping time le... tml still got study... lesson 9-5 lorz... sux... after dat going out wif nie... hehe... yest saw clara bf... seems gd... sho sweet of him to pei clara at wk... hehe... this few days meet mao & sam nia... go makan, go slack... nothin much... sho sianz de life... still missing him as usual... dunno whether how ish he now... totally no news for i thin 1 mon plus... forget how long le... sho long... haiz... nvm... it's gd oso... somehow will forget some stuff... trying to forget the past but end up forget wat happen yest instead... i now live the life dat everybody wish to have... everyday i wake up... i forget wat i've done yest... hehe... sho tired now... i thin gonna sick soon... feel a bit giddy... go slp le... nitez...

x_______i missing you________x

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

wat can i do~??

2005-11-05T01:35:00.000+08:00

dunno y feel sad now... wat m i thinking~?? someone's nick~?? i oso dunno... i shouldn't talk bout some memories wif mao dat day... i dreamt bout dat person at nitez sehz... i oso stunned... y will~?? i should have forget everythin... y i'm not yet... haiz...i'm afraid dat 1 day he say he got gf le... i dunno wat will be my reaction... but i noe i'll break down... trying to forget wat ish love & how it feels like... i muz... i dun wan hurt myself or other le... this few day still sho sianz... doing same thin... now damn tired... sch like hell... hehe... class... sianz half... onli morning can see my buddy... then the rest diff class wif them le... sho sianz... i oso dun wan talk much le... wait till there ish better thin then say... yest quarrel wif mei... sux man... not surpose to lorz... hope will not spoil friendship coz of this... sorry mei... i oso dunno whose fault... but i believe both... sorry...

[[ it hurts to cry... but it hurts more to cry wif a smile... i choose to play in the rain when i feel sad... coz i noe... if i cry... nobody will see it... in the rain... tears can be controlled... ]]

x_______i missiing you________x

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

escape day... sho fun...

2005-10-30T04:04:00.000+08:00

it's 2nd last day of holiday le... guess wat i did today~?? i did a veri meaningful thin... i go escape wif mei, nie & kor... wahaha... those who read sure will say like dat call meaningful~?? wahaha... to mi it ish... coz muz enjoy... it's reali worth going... coz i saw someone... who~?? make mi sho happy... wahaha... it's jer... we reach there... the 1st thin we play ish wet & wild... y~?? coz while playing will dry... wahaha... we keep talking bout ppl... then i thin it's weird to wear jeans to escape play... wahaha... they keep telling mi this & dat ppl weird but i can't see... while we waiting for panasonic which ish known as alpha 8 now... i saw jer... then talk to him a min then he go play his own stuff le... hehe... kena suan by mei 2 thin... 1st, he wore jeans to escape... 2nd, they tell mi sho many ppl i can't see... i saw jer from a small gap... wahaha... i oso dunno y i can't see ppl they talking bout... hehe... i tried gold coast... somethin i scare to play... coz nie say if i play gold coast then she play inverter wif mi... inverter ish a column of 4 wif dunno how many roll... then it'll spin all the way to the top whereby on top u will be upside down... sho fun... but our ko lian leg kena ya till pain... they got to make sure we dun drop down fron top... sho it gonna be tight... hehe... i actuali ask jer to pei mi play either pirate or inverter... but he come dat time we queue till the 1st person le... sho he didn't join us for inverter... we went play pirate... his frenz queue then we play... wahaha... his 2 frenz play 2nd round... coz they wan sit at the back... nie & kor sit opp us... then mei sit on my right then jer on left... it's quite empty at my side... then the person ask ppl come... suaw enough it's kids... we intend to sit behind which ish last 2nd roll... then mei went to kor & nie there... ps sehz... the kids ish screaming like hell larz... not coz of scare... ish play... then jer suddenly scream... omg... his scream~ damn sharp lorz... then they started to go against each other... here goes my ko lianz ears... i drag him pei mi play wet & wild... then he dun wan... he going hm soon coz going clubbing at nitez... clubbing... sounds sho familia but somethin which i wun noe how it ish like again... maybe yrs ltr~?? hehe... actuali we wanna sit 4 together de... but coz max 3... mei, nie & kor 1... mi & jer 1... & his 2 frenz another 1... hehe... the first slide... i sit behind... coz somebody say dun wanna become sho wet... but from the start i splash water till the end sehz... sho for 2nd slide we change... wahaha... we're sho wet... esp mi... all wet lorz... wahaha... sho fun... maybe wif him bahz... i oso dunno... but i noe i see him i jiu happy le... hehe... dat day i say i no see him for days... then next day jiu saw him at my house downstair le... then yest i juz say see when free can pass him my hp... then saw him at escape... i reali thin escape ish damn qiao... at neighbouring place can't say qiao... but this time ish pasir ris wor... omg... anyway... i'm still happy now... wahaha... ;p after he went off... we went play gold coas then go the fun fair there... we won a BIG bear wif 14 bucks & a small bear from spinning wheel... somemore got 2 quest ppl wk there... hehe... but we no privilege... but nvm... their job... oh ya... they're celebrating helloween from 28 to 30... sho we got to see those fake monster & ghost... wahaha... sho scary... esp the old chi jiang shi... hehe... go org org le... tata... nitez...

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

dat's all for now...

2005-10-26T03:10:00.000+08:00

well... damn long no blog le... y?? sho busy sehz... well... i guess i onli gonna update bout mi illness bahz... gonna go on med for a yr or sho bahz... erm... i oso dunno wat to say... critical or not... i oso dunno... onli can say not to an wei my frenz & myself... sho sick... 6 weeks ltr gonna have blood test again... sho tired of hate it... humph... i everyday gonna eat 4 med... all pink... oso can't eat seafood... haiz... how to survive~?? life sho sucky... i noe how jie & mama feels le... haiz... lucky mi onli can't eat seafood... eggs can eat... can't survive without dat... haiz... but gonna face the fact... wahaha... onli thin i'm unhappy ish his reply... haiz... onli can say... it's over le... haiz... but there's always sunshine after the rain... after the check up went ivy house for chiazz steamboat... well... should say it's for gers... coz got 12 gers... 7 of us plus mei, shanny & ivy's 3 sis... hehe... sho happening... sho full... sho happy... wahaha... i will neva forget dat day... hehe... but at first clara make us disappointed... coz she say will leave earli... then her frenz xi shen... bluff her he got dental ltr... dental got sho late de mehz~?? anyway thanz clara's frenz... hehe... where by this few days ish rot... coz sch gonna start soon... but i'm broke le... how to survive sehz... damn it... but i thin gonna find weekend job le... arbo reali broke... hehe... enjoying my life till sch starts... hehe... tc...

x_______i missiing you________x

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

no much time wor...

2005-10-14T04:02:00.000+08:00

today no time to type sho much... wan slp le... hehe... juz now... went poly clinic see doc wif mei... *thanz mei* then doc gif mi appointment go hospital cheak up... sound sho jia lat... now... cannot run from all this anymore... gonna be brave & face it... haiz... mi heard need go hospital jiu stunned le... everybody who heard going hospital oso stunned... mi fam 2 person went hosp le... i'm 3rd... haiz... dunno wat we've done... y all like dat... we owe somebody somethin~?? hope all will fully recover... *pray hard* ppl who read this... i dun need anyone to ko lianz mi... if i need i wun be writing all this nia... hehe... go slp le... tata...

x______i missiing you______x

[[ neva miz the chance to miss you... missing u every moment... ]]

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

how m i~??

2005-10-11T04:37:00.000+08:00

this few days... i've been lazy to online... wahaha... should say no time oso bahz... well... got result on 6 oct... fail 1 module... eng mec... feel like giving up... msg some ppl to talk to... ricky oso fail... till today i still can't decide to continue marz... hehe... nvm... let time help mi decide... see wat happen next... hehe... this few days i hanging out wif mei, jong, eddie & sam... but sam ish occasional nia... coz he oso neva reali contact mi de... oso dunno he got anythin on or he free marz... hehe... he'll always say he's always free... oh ya... dat day went cycle... as in they us here & there... hehe... pai sehz arhz... mao & jong... dat day... mei ask mi bring heelys out... hai mi fall down till blue black... wat sehz... some more knee cap alot of scratches... pain... sam change le wor... suddenly feels dat he change... dunno change as in wat... maybe he talk more gthan he does... or his char... i oso dunno... but y he'll change~?? wat makes him change~?? suddenly wanna ask alot of y's... hehe... nobody can ans mi... wat else have i done~?? somehow gonna forget le... i rmb dat day mi heart pain again... on the way hm... i can't tahan... jiu sit at my house hownstair rest first... bad health... wahaha... on sat... my time go see doc le... ish force by my aunt de... i dun wan see... coz dun wan noe wat's wrong wif myself... scare... my eyes suddenly become big got reason de wor... mi dunno kena wat... my aunt say ish *toa ang kun* dat refer to my neck... i onli noe somethin to do wif my throat de... hehe... doc say need wait for blood test... wed then get report... dat ish like tml lorz... scare... i reali scare of the stupid needle... the doc wan inject i dare not see sehz... the my aunt say mi... wahaha... noe how much it coz to take away my blood~?? 100 bucks wor... sho ex... my aunt say cheap but sis say ex... i oso dunno... first time nia... wahaha... my smallest aunt pay for it... i dunno how to thanz her sehz... owe ppl ren qing again... dun like sehz... but bo pianz... tml... no i mean ltr gonna go out wif jie... she sho happy sehz... can go out le... hehe... mi still can't get to slp... how~?? holiday too long le... hehe... tml report out... pray hard nothin much happen to mi... i still can't lie to myself... i still miz u...

x_____i missiing you______x

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

lazy mi...

2005-10-05T02:48:00.000+08:00

have not been posting for past few days... y i sho busy... it's busy plus lazy... bo pian... hehe... this week quite bored... no much programme... wanna wk oso lazy go find job... hehe... last chioce ish giant... prepared for bbq thin till i wanna go crazy le... sho many thin to do... & sho chicken larz... my whole hand onli got chicken smell... then en got wk... end up onli mi do... nerd come do his fish thingy nia... on 30 sept went bbq... then ton... then next day reach hm slp then meet mei, jong & eddie go play pool then go to the veri high place slack... then went hm... coz mei tired le... sho sianz... then next day go out eat wif jie & stir... their topic no link sehz... mi jiu keep quiet till they thin i'm weird... actuali keeping quiet oso not dat jia lat wor... but mi like talking... bo pianz... then for yest... mi pei jie eat then go meet ivy, clara & nerd wif jie... we go bugis shop... mi bought quite a few thin for jie... then mi myself bought a top jie pay... she say this time i wan pay... bo pianz let her pay... last but not least... for today... mi & daddy pei jie go surgery... it minor but mi veri worry... msg clara coz i guess she's then onli 1 awake... coz got study... jie say veri pain wor... she pain till cry... she dun need stay there... can go hm... hehe... sho happy... i can't lose her... for tml... i onli noe going out wif nie... & i'll come back earli... she have dinner wif fam coz bro b'day... anyway quite surprise dat my class say wanna have bbq wor... hehe... but dunno how will it go... but jamie & her bf anniversary dat day... she may not attend... if she not going mi too... hehe... dat's for the past few days stuff... tc...

x______i missiing you______x

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

3 days back...

2005-09-28T03:06:00.000+08:00

didn't post for 2 days le... where i go~?? went wk on sat... after dat... went somewhere high... if fall down sure die... hehe... damn cool... next time got pics then upload... wahaha... damn high from the ground... & can see the whole s'pore... wow... for mon... went qs wif mei to get thin from wei... actuali wanna bring mei & nie go fountain de... but same thin... nie not free... she go ah ma house... cannot blame... hehe... then go play pool wif jong, kel & his frenz... instead... wow... mi de pool improve wor... though didn't play for months... hehe... then we go c'wealth there eat supper then jong pei us hm... should say cycle mi back... thanz jong... hehe... & for today... mi actuali dun wanna go out... but since i haven eat & juz nice eddie & jong jio mi go eat... i jiu go eat... hehe... shun pian see des free marz... can pass him thin... hehe... pass him then suddenly feel heart pain... ish reali heart pain... not feelings... it hurts de... hehe... he ask mi rest awhile... i keep chasing him hm coz his mama wanna wash clothes... ask him go back asap... i still hurts but go off... but it's okie... i go av meet them eat then go play pool again... hehe... & now on my lappy... hehe... quite boring day... i'm not gonna write anythin dat shouldn't appear le... but all i can say ish feelings ish not i can control de... sorry...

x_______i missiing you_______x

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

it's a raining day...

2005-09-25T04:10:00.000+08:00

today wat i've done~?? went wk... mei, nie & kor come find mi... we slack a while then mi & mei go cold storage get hagen daze *spelling rite~??* vallina ice cream eat... wow... dat shiok man... we saw dennis & frenz downstair... after we finish the ice cream... it started raining... omg... damn cold... guess wat i did~?? i went out play rain... damn shiok... wow... cold... but fun... can let mi forget everthin for dat moment... i juz love to play in the rain... hehe... derrick & rondeypei mi play... hehe... thanz arhz... it's best when mi & derrick stood under a place with veri heavy rain... actuali ish the rain came down from roof... sho it's heavier... wow... the feeling ish great... lucky got mei help mi take bag... hehe... i'm all wet... in & out... wahaha... derrick they all play bb at void deck then got an indian uncle come down... ask them wan stop or dun wan stop... derrick reply stop... then the ear spoil uncle heard cannot... wat sehz... then he went up... guess he go call police le... then dennis jiu ask us go off first... i damn bu fang xin... but ya mei walk away le... then they all say wanna go hm then i jiu fang xin le... hehe... went hm go bath staight... whaha...

now... mi juz feel sad... haiz... got no one to talk to... dun feel like telling world... juz wanna find someone to talk... talking to nie will onli get a respond... 'haiz... si xin le~?? forget him bahz...' haiz... anyway... still gonna thanz nie for all the time hearing mi grumble... thanz... i will not write bout a 'him' anymore... haiz... no matter wat... i'll keep everythin to myself le... i got no choice... did he ever thin of my tot first... i gonna do wat he say coz i love him... juz wanna respect him... i rather i'm the one being hurt than him... haiz... he say he gonna be harsh on the word he say... haiz... did he ever thin of mi... he noe i gonna be sad he still do it... anyway this ish the second time le... he thin dat this way will make mi forget him... he's wrong... if it wks... the first time i'll forget le... haiz... it's not mi dat control my feelings... if i can... i rather i dun fall in love... i rather stay single for live... i dun mind being alone for v'day... i dun mind... but i can't... haiz... if i have a wish... i'll wish dat i dun have to wake up after i slp tonitez... haiz... do anybody noe how i feel~?? i dun wanna feel this way too... but i can't... haiz... forget wat i've type... i juz need someone to talk to... & i choose to write... i'll be alright... tml u'll still see mi with a smile... :p

x_______i missiing you_______x

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

it's a fun day...

2005-09-24T03:55:00.000+08:00

today ish a veri fun day wor... mi, mei & nie went chinese garden play... hehe... dun say us... after lantern fest then go see lantern... but we reali not free marz... bo pianz... hehe... we played the spinning thin... i forget wat izzit call... it juz keep spinning when we are up there... nie scream till she cry sehz... even call mummy... opps... if she see this she gonna say... 'i'll pai sehz de wor... say my cou shi...' hehe... while for mei... she screaming... wo jiao luan le... wahaha... whereas for myself... my belt cannot be tighten... sho... i nearly fly out... hehe... but i grap the handle damn tight... hehe... on it... i juz try to scream out... but starting no sound wanna come out... then i see nie & mei scream like hell jiu pei them scream lorz... hehe... i thin the lagi jia lat thin ish... we all wearing slipper~!!! omg... we trying to grap hold of our slipper... & at the same time make sure we are on the seat... wahaha... it ish damn fun... hehe... after walking around for a while... we went up the small pagoda... the big pagoda have 7 storey... but cannot go up... then small onli 3 storey... although going up ish tired... but when u reach there... u'll feel refresh... though the scenery ish not nice... but nobody ish up there... sho peaceful... hehe... we started screaming... wow... damn relief... this few days sho many thin happen dat i can't write down... or should say i dun feel like writing down... i noe i will start crying when i thin of it... the best choice ish dun remind myself (act blur)... we took alot of pics... gonna put it up once mei send mi... hehe... though there's unhappy thin in my mind... but i try to stay happy... hehe... oh ya... yest nie stay at my house... then we talk bout alot of thin till 5 plus then slp... but i can't get to slp... i slp at 7 plus... gonna go crazy soon... hehe... tml gonna go wk... sho... end here bahz... the few day b4 de... i thin better dun write bahz... got lots of tots... hehe...

x_______i missiing you________x

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

sho boring days...

2005-09-20T16:56:00.000+08:00

wat i'm doing this few days?? on sat... we celebrate imelda b'day... i went meet char & yiling at ps... i took a bus crowded with ppl... not a single seat available... reaching tanlin mall... i suddenly feel giddy... jiu blackout le... can imagine i fall down... lucky i juz sit on the ground... coz i'm wearing skirt... somemore i dun feel pain... wahaha... lucky mi... hehe... i went down the bus then sit at bus stop... then went up another 106 dat ish much more empty... at the my forehead ish full of cold sweat... but i juz rest a while & msg nie & ivy... they stunned when heard mi fainted... hehe... pai sehz... make u guys worried... hehe... anyway... this incident tells mi dat s'porean ish damn act... they saw ppl faint but they didn't help or offer a seat... the person who offer mi a helping hand ish an eurasian somemore... sho disappointing s'porean... guess who attended imelda b'day??? it's jian, lun, robin, vin, nerd, liang, teck, char, ling, en... surprise?? jian & lun will come... wahaha... we went opps ps to cut the cake... hehe... meet nie at harbour quite late... imelda oso late for meeting her frenz at harbour too... hehe... nie pei mi go redhill eat then we go holland meet mei go cold storage buy thin... then nie go hm... it's raining... but a while nia... hehe...

well... for sun... i went out at 7 or 8 plus... meet mei for dinner... then go play lantern... try to do somethin for des... coz he wking... cannot play... hehe... at first... i did it on a smooth surface... stupid mi... when i wan take pics... the candle de light reflect... then not nice... second time do... i do on a stoned surface... but then... on dat surface... i cannot remove the wax... after trying a few times... doing 'd' then redo a few times... i suceed... i send him then he replied saying he veri touch... i veri happy... hehe... a kind of man zu gan... hehe... :p i burnt my hair when doing it for him... damn sad... my beloved hair... but nvm... he like jiu hao le... hehe... while playing... i burnt my leg... damn pain... now got blister le... hehe... playful & careless mi... :p after dat i wan go buy drinks... but mei keep saying wan go hm... i ask dennis they all pei mi go buy & ask mei hm... i dun blame her... coz she gonna study on mon... bao suddenly call mi... somethin wrong... i went blk 10 meet her... but she went hm le... i went up find her... her hand ish bleeding like hell... she do silly thin again... haiz... she say wanna go hm... i wait till her blood somehow gonna stop soon then go off... she ish drunk... guess sho go hm jiu can slp le... midnitez... went eat wif jer... we hungry... hehe... went hm slack then go slp... cannot reali get to slp sehz... dunno y... hehe...

for today... i whole day slack at hm... dun feel like going anywhere or meet anyone... then i whole day at hm watch vcd & eat chips... didn't eat a proper meal at all... sho lazy to do anythin... hehe... i at last eat porridge when i feel gastric pain le... lucky now okie le... hehe... dun wan let ppl thin i make myself suffer... hehe... i'm not & i wun... coz of him... he teach mi all this de... hehe... thanz... well... dat's wat i did for past few days... update when free bahz... chaoz...

x______i missiing you_______x

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

changing again...

2005-09-16T19:17:00.000+08:00

guess wat i've done yest~?? well well... i pei jie go eat then go meet nerd at imm... he wait for mi for quite some time... sorry wor... i pei jie go eat... coz she have been eating maggie for the past few days le... how i wish my parent got cook... nvm... hehe... dat's my life... hehe... after dat went bugis to exchange ivy's skirt then go makan... hehe... after dat rush hm coz meeting esther go zouk... sho sad dat when we reach zouk it's FULL HOUSE~!! coz it's ladies nitez & zouk ish closing for renovation on sun... i guess sat will be damn pack... hehe... we didn't went in & start deciding wif 2 groups of stir frenz... both group onli got 1 ger... sho pathetic rite~?? in the end... we didn't follow them... we went momo instead... i prefer momo anyway... hehe... it's not my day sehz... i'm wearing heels... damn sucky... hehe... dunno y i feel damn thirsty dat day... lucky it's ladies nitez... free drinks... wahaha... thanz mum for having mi as a ger... sho many privilleges for ladies... hehe... we saw a couple... an angmo guy & a chi lady dancing... they dance till damn er... erm... dunno how to discribe... all i can say ish the guy keep touching the lady's butt & her body cannot leave his body... the lady keep putting her head on the guy chest... as if she cannot see ppl lorz... wahaha... then ltr got a guy who look like des frenz benedict dance wif stir... he's quite shuai.. he got some view look like des... hehe... thin too much bout him le... clubbing oso thin of him........ nothin to say bout myself... time to relax still will rmb him... his frenz wk at courts... he wearing the polo t... wahaha... both not bad looking... but not interested... wahaha... we change place & saw a group of gers... 1 of them say hi to stir... then they start dancing wif us... guess wat~?? mi & stir feel somethin below... wondering are they guy or ger... but i thin ish ger... hehe... mine confirm ish ger... stir de ish bung... hehe... a while ltr i feel quite unconfortable jiu say wan go le... i thin ish the smell of cig... went holland get drinks then sit & rot... after dat saw melvin... he's a bit tipsy... but still clear mind... hehe... chat wif him a while jiu go hm le...

-weird mi... today dun feel like drinking alcohol... someone dun wanna go clubbing dat often... maybe dun go le... suddenly feel like being a guai kia... hehe... after talking to stir... i realise my mum dun like des de... coz he gamble... but he onli play for fun... soccer ish his passion wor... but mama worry it will be a habit... mama juz wan mi to have a gd future... thanz mum... i love u...

today... nie off... wanna bring nie to the fountain... hehe... go kor house find her... hehe... today the 2 dogs ish weird... suddenly sho hyper... hehe... i saw kor at hm... wat a surprise... hehe... today ish civil defence day... sho he can come out... *'come out' sound sho boy's hm* hehe... but tml 7 book in & 6.30 book out... sho sianz... book out 1 day then book in then book out again... sho troublesome... hehe... my fountain idea gone le... hehe... can shun pian go suntec see where des wk marz... can see him... but all gone... hehe... nvm... we went bmc eat wif mei instead... she got tkd... sho onli pei us eat... hehe... kor took photo then we go clementi play arcade... dunno where to go then i feel like playing jiu thin of clementi le... hehe... after playing they come my house take googles coz kor got swimming... wahaha... now mi damn hungry... go get biscuit eat... scare tml faint... weak health mi... hehe...

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

haiz... sad day...

2005-09-14T20:33:00.000+08:00

today didn't manage to send kor to army... coz slp till too late le... hehe... sorry wor kor... but the qiao thin ish jason *qs* & wei siong go the same camp wif kor... isn't it qiao?? hehe... 3 plus then wake up... wow... i slp 14 hrs wor... wow... reali pig... hehe... bo pianz... too tired... hehe... pai sehz wor nie... hehe... mi4 plus go meet shanny & sok @ ps... actuali i wanna bluff ivy dat we didn't buty present for her but she read mi blog le... sad... cannot bluff her... hehe... we got a blackforest ice cream cake... my fav blacforest wor... we went eat pizza while waiting for the rest... hehe... mi & sok go get cake while the rest pei ivy... clara & nesh went off... sho earli... nie & eddie came... i show them the ngee ann city thin... hehe... dun let ppl noe wat's dat... i onli wanna show him....... haiz... oh ya... today i quite sad... i told nie i maybe not telling him wat i intend to say... juz give him wateva i gonna give... haiz... feeling fading~?? i didn't have the chance to see him & chat wif him... how can feelings grow... somemore wheneva i try to talk to him... he will give mi negative tot... i thin ish gu yi de... but haiz.... forgetting ish not say wan jiu can de lorz... if he reali wan mi forget him... he contiuing doing wat he's doing he can... some day........ haiz... *back to my day* ivy went hm... then we went youth park sit & slack... then eddie went hm... we went hm... nie & sok wait for bus but bus go le... they gonna take cab hm... ko lianz... hehe... reach hm jiu sit in front of com till now... juz now ask him when wan get the thingy from mi... he ask mi wat.. but not gonna tell.. not even here until i give him... haiz... he not sure accepting it marz... but mi character ish if he dun wan jiu throw away... coz somethin ish meant for somebody can neva be given to another person... haiz... he say starting wk tml... he gonna log off... a slightly ask a bit more he jiu say dun ask le... haiz... all i can say buaiz... i thin i ask at the wrong time... veri sorry... haiz... but i promise it's the last gift... haiz... i wanna give... & stop bothering him le... haiz... i reali damn sad now... nie was sho happy when i say i maybe not saying wat i intend to say & i told her feelings started to fade... haiz... i wish i can grab all i had... but i didn't & i can't now... haiz... come back to mi hap marz baby~?? haiz... i trying to let feelings remain... coz i everythin to end... haiz... dun like dat treat mi can~?? missing you baby...

x_______i missing you________x

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

another tired day... but fun....

2005-09-13T16:15:00.000+08:00

EXAMS FINALLY OVER~!!!! LET'S GET WILD~!!!

now... time ish 12:56 according to my lappy... and to say... i onli left with 4 hrs to slp... tml dun need go sch... but gonna send kor off to army... pei nie nie... hehe... y i still wan come online?? juz wanna write down wat happen today... hehe... today go eat wif kel, mie & alvin... then we go queensway... saw bei... hehe... he's alone... i pei him go walk walk... hehe... after dat go arcade play without bei... after dat go bvcc... kel go play bb... mi go see jer play bb... sho shuai... hehe... i pei bei bei go town buy thin... we go heeren walk walk... he didn't buy anythin... hehe... bei wallet ish nice... ish the one 1 wanted for long... but his ish black... i dun wan black... sho nan ren... wahaha... i noe where he can get the thin he wan... hehe... we took cab all the way coz raining... hehe... we took cab to bugis... on cab... bei say got thin give mi... then say dun wan give... i dun like ppl say half then dun say... sho i pitch him... wahaha... ko lianz him... hehe... he took out the wallet... omg~!!! he go buy but he bluff mi go say toilet... i still say him drop into toilet bowl... opps... hehe... sorry... reali like it anyway... hehe... thanz lots... hehe... after dat david come meet us... we go walk walk then he at last bought thin le... still got but a necklace for his gf... sho ai mai... haiz... but hope he can settle down... hehe... go hm slp after dat... damn tired... another day of not slping... hehe... tml gonna send kor off to army... hehe...

some ppl will ask mi whether will i get back to bei... all i can say ish... i wan someone who can give mi a future... if he can i will provided he wan mi back... all thin will be memory foreva... hehe...

[[ happy belated birthday to ivy... hehe... ]]

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

time to slp...

2005-09-11T14:54:00.000+08:00

damn tired now... yest no slp... coz go celebrate kor... not b'day... not anniversary... ish coz he going in army... hehe... go clementi eat then go kbox... ah han oso got come wor... he cry when kor & nie go out... sho gonna bring him out... but reali happy he come pei mi... hehe... today de paper okie... same as yest... thin will juz pass... hehe... *pray hard* after sch go toen wif ric & lex... ric wan cut hair... in the end... he dun like again... hehe... *expected* then meet hui & mei to buy ivy's present... hehe... ltr meet nie... hehe... dunno y i like to meet nie dat much... hehe... *she ish my everythin* i cannot find any better frenz than her le... now de her ish sho understanding... he dun strongly disagree mi get back him... she ask wat make mi wanna get him back... hehe... but i got no ans... love someone got reason de marz??? hehe... oh ya... went bugis wif mei & nie then meet kor there... we gers took quite alot of pics... hehe... *juz love taking pics* at bugis i saw des~!!! nie saw someone like him... jiu tell mi... i go approach him lorz... he's playing soccer game... he look pale... look sho qiao cui... *heart pain* go slack a while jiu go hm... i cannot tahan le... reali veri tired... but reach hm feel better le... i msg him asking him ish he okie... he's reply make mi thin he change le... hehe... hope ish changing to the best... hehe... reali gonna go slp le... nitez.. sweet dreamz...

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

it's dinner time...

2005-09-09T10:37:00.000+08:00

i'll continue my blog from now onwards but ish few days once... hehe... starting to be lazy le... hehe... tues juz went out wif loy... enjoy the day... i juz reformate my lappy on tues oso... sho sad... kena trojan virus... programme kena eaten 1 by 1... ass... went out to study wif alvin (trojan's gl)... jamie actuali got come de... she end up going airport fetch audrey... coz she tot ish my class de alvin... hehe... sho ko ai her... wahaha... for today... juz slack at hm... say wan study.... but haven study yet... sho lazy to study... haiz... ltr then see how bahz... :p hehe... tml got crab eat le... kor farewell... hehe...

i still dun have the courage to go pass him the thing... it's the last gift & chance to get
him back... i dun dare... i'm scare... haiz... actuali i'm not scare dat i fail to get u back... i juz scare dat after dat i dun have the chance to talk to u & have the chance to see u... asking u out ish damn difficult le... a noe 2 person going out ish bored but i juz wanna let u noe i'm no longer the mi dat u noe... haiz... will u come back to mi???

x______我的寂寞天堂______x

x______i missiing you______x

[[have anyone ever wonder y izzit i missiing you but not i miiss you?? juz wanna say i'm always missiing you... it wun stop & it ish always... not onli now...]]

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

same old mi...

2005-08-30T01:24:00.000+08:00

well... i'm back... it's been like 2 months not blogging anythin le... hehe... nothin change in mi... onli noe some frenz... & getting better with my classmate... ltr going sentosa with ric, lex & mie... of coz ish sok, & hui jio de... feel quite sorry wor... sok & hui noe... pai sehz... mi waiting for jamie to go take bus... sho sianz... sho come update my bloggie... hehe... mi neva change... still the same lia everyone noe... loviing the same old him... hehe... got a new update... i at last bought my DKNY watch... mama spon... hehe... & i can see him on wed... going back sch... happy wor... hehe... dunno when should i give him the last thingy dat i have done... hehe... gonna go out soon... update next time... :p

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

thursday, friday & saturday...

2005-06-13T18:11:00.000+08:00

saturday, 11 june 2005

yest onli slp around 4 hrs... tired... today go wk... tired... not enough rest... then gene come find mi in the afternoon... gene pei mi go celebrate daddy b'day... hehe... nan de got frenz acc mi go wor... hehe... we went to marina south de dragon village eat steamboat... hehe... gene help mi pay coz no bank available around...hehe... pai sehz... gene saw an insect in the soup... omg~!!! we stop eatin after seein the big insect... we went to toilet then go arcade... i saw a minnie mouse de bear in the catchin thin then he play to get it for mi... he used 20 bucks plus still haven get it then i dun allow him to get it le... waste sho much $$ le... :p after dat he say wan go toilet again... then he msg mi ask mi go back first... he make a call... when i on the way back... i saw him at the machine... he damn stupid... mi go back sure will pass by there de... wahaha... :p i acc him a while... he spend 40 bucks plus on the bear but still can't get... ass... dun like the machine... humph... heart pain... he spent sho much on mi... wat the.......... after dat acc him go chalet... hehe... he go meet a gal who wanna meet him for long... hehe... can see dat the gal like him lots... dun reali like her anyway... hehe... :p i oso dun expect ppl to like mi either... :p we stay at her chalet for a few hrs then we go beach... hehe... damn nice de stars... hehe... :p thanz wor gene... noe mi like stars then pei mi go see... hehe... we wait till 7 plus then go pasir ris eat mac... hehe... he whole day dun allow mi pay... reali spent alot on mi wor... sorry... anyway thanz... neva ever forget the day... hehe... *mUaCkZ* thanz... hehe...

friday, 11 june 2005

today after sch go hm then go sam's ah ma funeral wif gene... sam dunnno again... hehe... another surprise... hehe... :p went 7-11 to get some food... hehe... i wun forget the stupid thin we do on the way back... hehe... :p after dat play poker for a while then went hm... mi & gene talk outside mi house... then go hm at 6... wun forget the time spent together de... hehe... tml got to wk wor...

thursday, 10 june 2005

today ish gene's b'day... HAPPY BIRTHDAY GENE~!!! hehe... heard from sam dat his grandma die... mi & sam jiu neva go gene's b'day celebration... sorry wor... but dun worry... will pu hui de... hehe... :p after sch went hm then go pei sam... he damn surprise... coz i didn't tell him i going... hehe... i find the place like hell... i totally dunno where izzit... hehe... :p i thin dat's wat a frenz can do bahz... hehe... :p take care wor... dun sad le...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

sun, mon & tues

2005-06-08T15:00:00.000+08:00

sunday, 5 june 2005

today feeling damn xin ku... ask mama buy food for mi... she buy till damn unwilling lorz... i tell her i sick then she bo pianz go buy de... damn lame larz... she buy bought rice instead of noodle or porridge... i tot she'll buy porridge... end up buy rice & soup... i ate it lorz... wat else... today actuali going jervis's b'day de bbq de... after bathing i feel damn terrible larz... hope dat eat panadol will feel better... but nothin wk... sho i didn't go jervis's bbq le... (sorry) i went to slp instead... jie reach hm in a while time... she wake mi up then ask mi to change my sweaty outfit... i went to vomit instead... i damn xin ku... sho force myself to vomit... i wanna act strong after vomit... dun wan jie jie to worry... jie jie ask mi go see doc but i ask jie pei mi go eat instead... hehe... we went to blk 40 but didn't eat... jie jie ordered drinks le but we went off... hehe... i feeling damn xin ku... sho bo pianz... muz see doc le... hehe... on the way to see doc... saw esther... she acc us to see doc... see the stupid doc damn ex lorz... 64 bucks lorz... after seeing doc... i vomit on the way hm... hehe... passerby tot mi ish ah lian then dunno how to drink... wahaha... after dat go hm rest le... vomit another time after i ate med... then another time in the middle of the niitez... hehe...total vomit 4 times...

monday, 6 june 2005

today choose not to go sch... damn xin ku... hehe... at hm slack wohle day... damn sianz... i ate my breakfast then went back to bed... hehe... after dat online chat wif ppl... damn sianz... i ask sam help mi buy bk... went down meet him then pei him go eat... actuali he wan mi pei him go eat ish fake de... wan see mi eat dinner ish real de... hehe... met him then ask him walk here & there wif mi... hehe... pai sehz... :p i nearly blackout... lucky find somewhere to sit... hehe... :p went eat then help jie buy food then go cc find kevin pass him bk... at last he took it from mi... hehe... :p after dat we slack a while then go ah yi house pass hp to stir... then jiu go hm le... hehe... :p

tuesday, 7 june 2005

today finish sch at 12... shiok... hehe... clara came np... hehe... i wanna pass up mc then end up hai clara & sam walk here & there... (pai sehz) hehe... after dat we went to orchard... then gene com find us... hehe... clara went off first... then mi, sam & gene go shop around... then go kim seng play pool... then sam acc mi hm... (thanz) talk to gene then realise he ish a veri nice lover... he'll fu chu yi qie for stead... omg... envious his dear... hehe...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

thursday, friday & sunday...

2005-06-05T18:59:00.000+08:00

thursday, 2 june 2005

today go sch dat time nearly faint on bus... damn xin ku... feel like vomitting & having fever... damn it.. we got 2 hr break... we went took cab to bukit timah plaza play pool... lame??? hehe... bo pianz... we lazy to walk... again ish i 1 gal nia lorz... but after dat jamie & her frenz came... now got 3 galz... they dun wan eat wor... hai mi eat instant noodle... sho sianz... sick still eat instant noodle... sho ko lianz... hehe... after sch met sam... then gene come find us... we go bukit timah play pool... (again) hehe... after dat we went to clementi slack... we decide to walk back towards holland... intend to take cab if we tired... they damn ko lianz... they help mi take all my stuff... damn gd... imagine sam got to take his laptop & mine... damn heavy lorz... after dat gene help him take then sam take mi de bag... hehe... they reali treat mi as patient sehz... we walk from oppsite... the road wif lots of tree (forest)... they keep doing scary thin to scare mi... the stupid gene nearly make mi cry wor... he ask mi to look at the forest there then i gong gong tot got somethin... then when i turn back his face ish rite beside... i xia dao... ass.... we walk back to holland... we sat down at my house downstair there to rest a while... we look up at the hill then mi & sam freak out... a tree wif "V" shape branch have a round thin between dat look like head... we noe it's not... but it reali look like... hehe... after dat they went hm... coz gene didn't bring key... they even send mi up to my house... thanz wor... hehe... :p

friday, 3 june 2005

after sch meet sam then go ghim moh buy med... mi flu like hell... on bus to ghim moh... i took some funny & lame photo wif sam's hp... damn hao siao... hehe... he paid for my med coz he say he wanna bring mi go see doc but i neva sho he pay for my med... hehe... hope the med will wk... hehe... we went to eat coz mi hungry... mi at last get to eat porridge... wahaha... i'm late for meeting clara they all (again)... go celebrate hui b'day at marina... we go eat swensen... hehe... *yummY* :p sam acc mi go wor... coz i say if he acc mi go then i oso go gene's b'day lorz... hehe... :p marina change alot wor... totally diff from the past... haven renovate hao... but nice... hehe... will have lots of shops... shopping paradise~!!! hehe... today alot of ppl go for hui b'day wor... like gathering like dat... damn happy... but sam went off... coz he thin veri weird... all he dunno de... hehe... he oso damn sianz... coz we all talk bout the past all dat... hehe... pai sehz wor... left u out... :p hehe... after eating... we went to esplanade there... actuali wanna go roof... but close for renovation... then we go near river there sit... we play zhong ji mi ma to get a person to borrow lighter from ppl... guess who??? ish i kena... damn sux lorz... :p those ppl ish beng lorz... dun like... but nvm... hehe... reali enjoy today... though time ish short... bo pianz... all juz finish sch... hehe... after dat i went to meet gene & sam at orchard... gene wanna go for mid night shopping... now got great s'pore sales... then shop iah open till 1... wahaha... :p sam damn gd... i say wan get clara's watch from adna... then go help her change batt le gif her back... hehe... juz wanna make her feel dat ppl around her care alot for her... hehe... clara... we love ya... hehe... but sam went to take the watch for mi... hehe... thanz wor... *mUaCkZ* hehe... :p when we reach orchard all the shop close le... it surpose to close at 1 de... humph... no gd... :p gene forget bring key again... mama waiting for him... sho we acc him go hm... mi & sam didn't go up... coz sam wanna go 7-11 buy mum mum... he whole day onli eat the instant noodle he bought at 7-11... dots... gene damn long then come down... he damn xi xin... he noe both mi & sam wear contact lens... he wei le wan bring solution down for us... he threw his blue lens away... thanz wor... *mUaCkZ* hehe... :p we dunno where to go jiu go meet bei bei, vid, stella & jimmy... hehe... we went to queenstown prison there to play pool... the cab driver damn fucker... ask him turn left he turn right... humph... :p after dat sam send mi hm... hehe... thanz... :p

saturday, 4 june 2005

i forget bout meeting wei & ivy go hui house... yest wei didn't go sho today go her house... hehe... after dat ivy acc mi go queensway find clara... hehe... her expression no fun de... she onli ask y my watch here~??? i tot she'll be surprised... chey... no fun... derrick opened new shop wor... hehe... after clara finish wk we go converse shop then adna & her cousin came... i talk to her bout sam... can see she still love sam alot... hope they can be together bahz... hehe... after dat i jiu go hm le... damn sianz... reach hm nobody de... sho empty... hehe... wanna go slp le... tata... nitez... :p

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

tuesday & wednesday...

2005-06-02T16:01:00.000+08:00

tuesday, 31 may 2005

can't slp well last nitez... wake up every hr... daddy say i cough whole nitez... yest didn't update mi blog... yest nitez having fever... 38.4 lorz... mi normal temp onli 36.4 nia... diff of 2 degree wor... but not dat high... hehe... yest lesson start at 8... lect gave us a break 20 mins break... shiok... hehe... on the way back to class... alex ish playing wif jamie then end up alex knock onto jeffrey's coffee... both of them kena coffee lorz... wahaha... yest should be 3 finish sch de... but end up lect nothin to tell us le... sho let us go off at 1.30... hehe... shiok... go imm wif alex & jeffrey... hehe... actuali they wan go hm first then go... coz the stupid coffee stain... hehe... but in the end they neva... coz mi meeting clara & nie at rp... wahaha... mi de lens ish dirty & i having veri bad flu & cough like hell... end up my eyes damn red... i went hm to wear specs then go rp meet clara... nie ish late coz she do house wk... she yest go quit sch wor... when i go throw tissue... des appear in front of mi... hai wo xia dao... i called him... he ask mi y i there... i say find clara... he veri bad... shoot mi bout my "sexy" voice... wahaha... he go pierce ear wor... dunno to say nice or not... coz i like guys pierce 1 ear hole... but he pierce le a bit weird... maybe coz i not use to it bahz... hehe... he pon sch wor... coz he go defer army thingy... 3rd time defer le wor... wahaha... need go army le wor... hope to be the 3rd "person" acc him before he go army... coz i noe the 1 acc him should be his family then his frenz... hehe... sho i not selfish to take him for myself nia... wahaha... (thin too much le... act like he will meet mi like dat...) wahaha... i thin he came sch to meet hannah & his classmate bahz... anyway reali veri happy to see him... coz it's like veri long neva see le... hehe... miz him sehz... hehe... mi nie & clara went to orchard eat yoshinoya then go walk around jiu go hm le... coz i not feeling well... hehe... talk to nie nie... hope our friendship will not be affected by wat happened... hehe... :p

wednesday, 1 june 2005

today fever go off le... but cough & flu like hell... hehe... after sch still gonna go wk... bo pianz... chris can't wk... hehe... lucky got sam & gene come pei mi... hehe... neva talk to gene before... today talk to him realise he ish a nice guy... wahaha... :p today ish mi & des broke off 2 months le wor... miz him sehz... yest saw him... he seems okie jiu hao... as long as he's happy i jiu happy le... hehe... dun expect much... now having fever & a bad headache... gonna go slp le... nitez... sweet dreamz...

____x i miss you lots.... x_____

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

cough like hell...

2005-06-01T01:42:00.000+08:00

today sch damn shiok... 1 to 3 nia... wahaha... but... cough like hell... throat wanna burst le... hehe... meet emily & frenz at 12 at clementi to mum mum... she got a frenz call happy wor... ish nick larz... but ish coz of his chi name... hehe... sho ko ai... wahaha... mi de IS class got the guy call clement... the guy who dun wear boxer... wahaha... mi class got a desmond oso... sianz half... ish like veri diao lorz... but he look totally diff from him... wahaha... actuali today got a make up lesson... but nobody go... they saw the announcement from mel... we didn't saw it... sho hack... wahaha... :p after wk saw eddie then pei him go eat... met his frenz... hehe... after dat acc victor (small) & his frenz go bb court... he go play bb... i at there rot... actuali wanna ask emily out... but she goin watch movie wif frenz... i jiu no meet her le... sianz... went hm in the end... today damn ko lianz... dinner ate instant noodle... coz sis go eat wif bf... nobody pei mi... mi wrote a testi back for nie... juz saw nie online... jiu ask her wanna go out wif us tml marz... she going... hehe... last outing before her sch start... which means tml i gonna go rp meet clara... sho maybe will see des.... diaoz.... got to be prepared... hehe... :p go org org le... tml got sch... :p somemore how got a bit fever... hehe...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

sick wor... still got to wk... miz ya

2005-05-30T15:22:00.000+08:00

today suddenly need wk... chun feng sick... mi oso sick... but i go wk... coz i thin chris need acc bf de... sho i go lorz... today bought a bk to do wk... end up forget no $$ eat... then onli eat lunch nia... hehe... :p dun scold mi... i reali forget to save $$ for food... wahaha... :p today de time pass quite fast... coz do hm wk there... then talk to clara... hehe... bought a shirt... owe clara $$ wor... the shirt from her shop de... nan de got ladies de wor... wahaha... :p somemore ish last piece... wahaha... go hm a bit hungry nia... lucky i sick... appetite not gd... hehe... arbo i'll hungry like hell... now i reali hungry wor... mum mum.......... hehe... try slp earli jiu not hungry le... hehe... :p nitez...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

same day... tired... >reali miz ya<

2005-05-29T16:47:00.000+08:00

today wk till 6... morning dun feel like waking up... damn tired... today not feeling well in the morning... after wk rot around... pei teck go buy pants for sw... help becca collect ring... talk to clara till 9... stunned rite??? sho late still there coz wanna go eat dinner wif clara & bernard... end up got vincent, robin, sam & james... gd... the more the merrier... hehe... james ish royce's (my classmate) frenz... qiao wor... world ish small... hehe... we go abc eat... today mi ate noodle for my 3 meals wor... damn sick of noodles... hehe... actuali go abc mi first reaction ish think of des larz... dunno wanna ask him down marz... in the end neva... coz scare he not free... somemore we onli go down a while nia... he come down a while go hm oso muz bath all dat... like veri ma fan for him... sho better dun... hehe... go hm around 11 plus... reach hm actuali dun wanna online... wanna go rest le... not feelin well... juz now got feeling like i drink alcohol like dat... gonna sick soon... now still xin ku... but dunno y end up on my lappy... saw des online wor... he seldom online at nitez de... can say ish near to neva bahz... somehow his display picz ish not his picz or wat... i dunno wanna ask him where ish he marz... in the end pick up my courage to ask... hehe... he at merilli house wif frenz... they having gathering... sho happening sehz... hehe... lucky didn't ask him down juz now... ask oso make myself disappointed nia... wahaha... :p chat wif him a while... he oso noe connie quiting sch... hmmm... seems like the news ish spreading le... damn happy to talk to him... though we didn't reali talk alot... hehe... mi wanna go slp le... he ask mi go org org... hehe... :p reali miz ya lots... *muackz*

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

take care pal...

2005-05-28T17:56:00.000+08:00

today damn sianz... lesson 9 to 5 lorz... late again... this time ish not jamie late le... ish jeffrey... he first time late wor... wahaha... damn tired sehz... some more 1st lesson ish learning technical lorz... nearly fall a slp lorz.. but coz lect near mi... today when we at blk 6 level 4... we got a 10 mins break then mi & jamie went to the toilet... when i walking to the basin... behind de light went off... we was thinkin izzit auto light... then jamie say nvm... we got 2 ppl... we heard a sound "ah"... we look at each other then ran out the toilet... we saw our class de guys outside... we tot ish then but they reali look innocent... scary wor... after sch go library find emily & frenz then go atriun order spartans photo... meet wei & nei at bus stop to go meet clara, teck, leslie & nerd... heard dat nie reali wanna quit sch le... haiz... disappointed... but ish up to her le... she decide herself de... we can't force her to study le... haiz... nvm... today clara look unhappy... but she dun wan tell mi y... suddenly feel like we r stranger... haiz... bo pian... we quarrel before... & to her... if we quarrel... trust will be gone... haiz... try gain back the trust bahz... all the best bahz... see her everytime hide thin in herself... she look sho xin ku... somemore how nie no sch le... she get another set back... haiz... dun thin too much kk??? muackz... anythin juz tell mi... *muackz*

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

tired de thurs & fri... >sorry<

2005-05-27T15:37:00.000+08:00

thursday, 26 may 2005

today damn sux lorz... 8 to 4... sianz... long day... today at last brought lappy to sch le... wahaha... today late again... we late from first day till now lorz... mi punctual... but wait for them till late... diao... wahaha... today find the stupid canteen 4 till veri long... we able to find it eif loycus's help... thanz... hope next week wun mi lu le... wahaha... today finish sch quite earli... 3.15 jiu finish le... wahaha... shiok... hehe... went to rp meet clara & wei jian... damn stress lorz.. scare to see des... dunno y... but lucky enough i didn't see him... hehe... we go back sch take our cert... mi cert damn ugly lorz... got 1 d7... stupid eng... humph... after dat mi & clara go av eat then go wk... damn sianz... still gonna wk... tired lorz... got lappy somemore... but not bad.. got lappy acc mi... wahaha... :p go hm after wk... too tired le... wahaha... ZzZz...

wednesday, 25 may 2005

didn't update yest... sho update today... hehe... "today" quite stunned... clara told mi connie wanna quit sch... she ask mi study then she wan quit??? diaoz...... how can like dat de... after sch gonna meet go buy hui's present... ltr then ask... meet them on bus then go orhard... bought a top for hui then we sit down & chat... i thin nie ish tooo stubborn le... her reason of quiting ish lose interest & her classmate... i thin she wun quit if nobody acc her... now ish got ppl quit le... dat's y she keep saying wan quit... haiz... we talk to her till sho xin ku oso no use... clara even try to make the atmosphere better by talking craps... but nothin wk... haiz... i receive my sis msg saying she broke up wof oink... diaoz.... damn stunned... i ask her talk to him then see how... haiz... 1 yr plus le wor... same situation as mi & des... i noe how jie feel.. sho i ask her to get him back... jie same as mi de... she went to his house downstair... but she did ask him down... but dat time i neva... haiz... all the best... after dat we go tiong makan then kor come find us... mi & kor had an argue... mi wanna walk off but i rmb wat nie, des, clara & kor say... dat's y i juz stick my butt on the chair... wahaha... but in the end ish clara & nie walk off... sad sehz... ish nie encourage mi to study de... & teach mi not to walk away... but she wanna quit sch & she walk away... talk to her till cry... i walk away... i msg them to apologise while walking... took bus hm at red hill... too tired... gonna rest... dun wanna talk to her bout studies le... juz let her decide herself... juz wait for her gd news... all the best... take care...

[i dunno type this how many times le lorz... net dun down le hao marz??? look up... wahaha... :p]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

simple day... outing rox...

2005-05-26T15:59:00.000+08:00

yest finish sch at 12... earli wor... hehe...nothin to do jiu go king ever park eat mac wif royce, alex & his frenz... everybody went hm or meet frenz... onli left wif us... haiz... sho sianz... went hm slack then meet xian at heeren... hehe... pyxis got outing... we went to eat marche... i tot damn ex... actuali ish somehow okie larz... but mi, emily, xian, coconut, melissa & pearleen share... sho not veri ex... hehe... clever us... wahaha... :p after dat went to play pool at mambo (lucky plaza)... hehe... we took a few cute picz... taking my eyes & xian de mouth... we juz play around... damn ko ai... hehe... after dat go hm org org... damn tired... hehe... today ish the best outing day... YEAH~!!!

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

wat a day.... >can't live without u<

2005-05-25T08:00:00.000+08:00

yest didn't have the time to update... hehe... yest go wk then go orchard meet clara, andy, teck & hui... after dat jong come meet us... damn sianz.. tml start sch... all the best... hehe... dunno y... my eyes veri tired but can't get to slp... try listening to song as usual to get to slp... but can't... suddenly miz him... tears roll down my eyes again... but this time i didn't thin of the past wor... juz miz him jiu got tears... weird... hehe... i reali miz him lots... all the camp i went... all the guys dat i noe... all the stuff i try to do to occupy my time... all the guys who treat mi gd... didn't help mi to forget him... i still love him... as much as i do in the past... wat bout him??? haiz... wat i thinking again??? i intend to send him nitez msg a few days ago... coz of dunno wat... i didn't send... end up save in my unsent item... yest oso wanna send... but end up i thin too late le... sho unsent again... see how many unsent can i save... wahaha... gonna send him if i slp earli... hehe... :p oso dunno how ish he le... long neva see him or heard his news le... onli noe dat day he ask connie they all bout mi... i mean like send a greeting nia... hehe... thanz for being wu sim... i didn't ask ppl send him greeting coz i dun wan him to rmb mi... forget mi better... i thin he oso forget mi le bahz... i reali can't survive without him... i thin he'll read mi blog once in a while... hope he dun read this... hehe... if he read this juz act as if u didn't read... hehe... wat i talking sehz??? wahaha... nvm... mi going out le... update at nitez... hehe... :p

[__x can't live without u... x__]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

sentosa & foc rox...

2005-05-23T17:01:00.000+08:00

today went sentosa... fun... more ppl than yest... & more fun... hehe... maybe ish the mentality bahz... everybody like foc camp more than sports camp... sho outing oso the same bahz... hehe... i starting dunno wan go down water marz... coz mi juz pierce belly... they say will have infection if get in contact wif sea water... hehe... end up decide to go down... dat's the main motive of going sentosa... hehe... emily can't go down water... lucky got christy acc mi... hehe... feel a bit bad... coz we ps emily... sorry wor... hehe... i kena pull down by alan... ass... bully mi... hehe... we played volley ball behind soccer court... then i kena hit by the soccer... lucky ish leg... pain... but now okie le... :p saw benedict... feeling weird... i reali miz him... haiz... but try enjoy myself instead of thinking craps... hehe... i neva see him since 18 april le... dat's their sch start dat day... it's like more than a month le... i wanna shout... (I MISS YOU~!!!) i reali dunno how i survive for a month plus without u... but i did... time reali pass veri fast... & i was force to forget u... haiz... take time bahz... after my bath... chin wei, cat & mi went off shore to see sun set... there's another "island" in front blocking the best view... wasted... hehe... dat "island" need to swim there de... hehe... saw xing jie wif benedict they all... i was like looking around... trying to find him... coz i dunno he'll come wif benedict marz... but see no ghost larz... nvm... better... hehe... we went to habour front eat at 9 like dat... my first meal wor... diao... earli horz??? hehe... :p after we eat at yoshinoya... we acc alvin go food court eat... shun pian join his trojans frenz... reali lots of alvin... hehe... noe a guy call u-jin(eugene)... unique spelling... korea de spellin lai de... :p after alvin finish eating we went downstair rot wif the rest... chin wei, alvin & emily went off then left wif mi & rayner wif other group de ppl... veri ko lianz... went hm around 11 plus... lucky got a agive gl (timent??) acc mi wait for bus... hehe... veri sianz... wei long, melvin & gang went off quite earli... sianz... tml still gonna wk... wanna slp le... nitez... sweet dreamz... *muackz*

[___x i missing you x___]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

sentosa trip sux... >touch day<

2005-05-22T17:15:00.000+08:00

saturday, 21 may 2005

yest neva update... coz nothin much to write... wanna wait till today then write... veri sianz... yest onli go wk... same old thin... awaiting for today de sentosa outing...

today meet benson for breakfast then go sentosa together... hehe... he's a nice guy larz... hehe... today damn few ppl go sentosa lorz... damn sianz... we didn't even play lorz... all the way talking there... damn sianz... all of us regretted going... damn sucky... we actuali intend to stay over at sentosa but in the end we went off around 5 plus... went to eat wif coconut... then go hm eat wif jie jie & mama... ah yi cook food for us... hehe... actuali wanna go meet bei & kor at nitez... but tired & lazy... hehe... :p today de outing ish veri disappointed... i tot will be fun... but end up no fun de... sianz half... all the best for tml bahz... :p juz now benson ish doing some com painting stuff bout sports camp de... then i kidding saying dat he neva do 1 for mi... end up he reali do 1 for mi... stunned wor... touch wor... simple thin nia... but........ dunno wat to say... reali thanz benson... hehe... *muackz*

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

2005-05-20T16:14:00.000+08:00

today went to sch to see my classmate & buy bk... damn sianz lorz... neva reali interact wif my frenz... sianz... waste time... reach wk at 1.30... late sehz... but nvm... actuali tell lou ish 1... but she dun mind... nice boss... hehe... excited & happy sehz... sat & sun going sentosa... shiok... hehe... :p at wk place damn sianz again... lucky chin wei & rayner come pei mi... they went off around 4... hehe... rayner can't accept the thinking of being wif a gal bigger than him... he today juz noe jia yi bigger than him by 1 yr... same age as mi... sad... all the best for them bahz... the rest of the day i talk to my neighbour... hehe... sho sianz sehz... ate quite late today... hehe... fei le~!!! muz jian fei~!!! hehe... reali feel weird chatting wif dat des (peh pei)... hehe... but muz get use to it... hehe... jia you lia... wahaha... need some rest man... hehe...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

boring day...

2005-05-19T14:36:00.000+08:00

today went sch for ece orientation... noe a few new frenz again... hehe... startin all veri quiet... but after dat all hyper le... wahaha... hope tml de class oso will be hyper... i still haven see any frenz in b5 wor... hope tml can tag along wif them... but tml gonna go wk... onli can go till 12... sianz... no t-shirt take... sianz... dunno y suddenly like to collect orientation de t-shirt though the size ish damn big... wahaha... :p today noe a guy from ece yr 2... he call desmond wor... veri uneasy... but bo pianz... a common name... haiz... chatting wif juz now those frenz now... they call him des... feel weird... nvm... i call him pei pei better... ko lianz mi... hehe... tml start wk at 1... but gonna wake up earli... hehe... tell u guys somethin... his hp num somehow same wif him wor... oso start wif 9048... diao rite??? haiz... memories...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

wat m i thinking?? >miz ya<

2005-05-18T17:09:00.000+08:00

today go wk... still the same... trying to find thin to do... wasting time... damn sian lorz... after dat wk wait for bao then go hm together... damn sianz... tml 1.30 need reach sch... sianz... hehe... yets nitez i decide to send him a msg thru friendster... ask him how's life... haiz... i thin i still can't let go bahz... haiz... take sometime bahz... now i oso dunno wat i wan... juz feel like i'm in the middle of the sea... i feel like i'm flirting wif guys... i oso dunno y... wanna let ppl thin dat i'm a bitch?? feel dat i'm like zhi bao zhi qi... but wat m i qi of?? i reali dunno... weird mi... haiz... wat i thinkin sehz... i wondering izzit coz those pppl treaat mi gd... i try to treat them gd... but ish to a certain limit... i oso dunno how to say... i dun needa explain anythin either... i support myself jiu hao... haiz... now... i juz tell ppl i'm single but not avail... hehe... i oso dun wanna hurt anyone now... i dun even noe wat i wan... i noe there's "someone" who treat mi gd... but... sorry... i can't treat u gd or love u... i'll hurt u de... i can't love u wif all my heart... coz i still got him in my heart... sorry... how long ltr then u'll be out of my mind & heart??? haiz... single life reali rox... s3 outing ish cancelled... sianz... onli left wif foc outing le... see u guys on sun then... hope we'll reali enjoy ourselve before sch start... hehe...

[I'm Missing You]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

boring day >miz ya<

2005-05-17T16:08:00.000+08:00

today went to wk... sho sianz sehz... whole day rot... nothin to do... jong wanna give wei another present... it's sweet... he do stars then put inside a bottle... then put it in a box... he use light stick to decorate it... yest de nicer than today de... coz of the light stick used... veri sweet wor... hehe... after he give the present wei & jong went hm... mi & bao went to the magic shop upstair.... she learn magic i tou kan... wahaha... we went to toilet before leaving... hehe... inside toilet the first cubical ish ajar... ah bao pointed to the cubical... i bio in then see nothin... but bao say there ish shadow... STUNNED~!!! hehe... after dat i go hm... she meet frenz... hehe... today at wk dunno y suddenly miz him... actuali i noe i can't forget him dat easily... but muz try... decide to send him a msg... see how ish he doing now... hope he dun get the wrong idea... juz dun wanna lose contact nia...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

pierce my belly... cool... :p

2005-05-16T00:50:00.000+08:00

today went to queensway wif mei mei... then ask bao help mi pierce belly.... actuali not pain... but dunno y i fainted... veri stunned rite?? mi oso stunned... WHERE GOT PPL FAINT COZ OF PIERCING DE~?!?! but i reali like the piercing... hehe... bao & clara say i neva eat or low blood pressure... weird mi... hehe... but dat's mi... muz love mi for who i m wor... wahaha... :p sho qiao... chin wei & reinel?? i dunno how to spell... pai sehz... they come queensway find mi... hehe... but i off... but nvm... i'm at queensway... they met alexis... qiao sehz... hehe... i took quite long to recover... after dat we went to av eat... after eating... we go orchard... chin wei redeem a hamper... it's writen worth 300 bucks... but we dun thin sho... lame 1... hehe... after dat we went shop for jie jie & oink gift... hehe... they 1 yr anniversary wor... *envious* hehe... but nvm... i noe i'll find my mr right 1 day de.... wahaha... :p chin wei 1st to go hm... next ish alexis & reinel... they went hm when i meet alvin... omg... my mr nice wor... hehe... i brew chry tea for him... coz his throat veri jia lat... he veri happy... coz first time got ppl "cook" somethin for him... hehe... but this time de chry tea not veri nice... not thick enough... hehe... pai sehz arhz... hehe... i actuali wanna buy astro boy soft toy... can't find... a couple shirt oso can't find... in the end bought mrs fields... hehe... look sho sweet sehz... hehe... mei mei went hm le... mi & alvin go eat... sho sianz... can't reali eat much... onli ate half of it... not bad le... hehe... :p after dat went hm coz jie at hm le... gonna give them the stuff before oink go hm... hehe... jie jie saw the cookie le bu se de eat wor... hehe... she like it jiu hao... hehe... :p hao le larz... wan go org org le... nitez... sweet dreamz... hehe...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

boring day

2005-05-15T15:16:00.000+08:00

today ish a boring day... go cuyt hair in the morning wif jie jie.... go wat breakfast then go wk... at wk place damn boring... nothin to do.... talk to clara to waste time... we veri sianz... keep finding rubbish to talk bout... hehe... clara & loy got prob again... clara sent everyone testi... she realise he didn't approve... she ish unhappy... saw loy at msn jiu ask him... he say he's damn busy... didn't notice she send her testi... haiz... mistaken again... clara... relax... chill... muz noe the reason before doin anythin... dun be rush man... chill... hehe... he noe u send him testi le... i thin got accept bahz... i onli ask him y... i didn't tell him wat to do... the rest ish up to him le... hehe... all the best for this friendship... yest saw bei & kelly de friendster... i thin they broke off le... heard from mei dat bei brought new gf hm... he reali hopeless le larz... bwg bout him man... haiz... all the best for him bahz... take care wor bei bei... tml piercing belly... excited man... hehe... tml meeting mei & alvin (mr nice) wor... thinking y i call him mr nice??? he's a nice guy... simply this reason... hehe... excited... happy to meet him too... hehe... see ya guys tml...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

spartans outing day~!!!

2005-05-14T19:30:00.000+08:00

today wake up having headaches & a bit fever feeling... dunno y... hehe... maybe not enough rest... hehe... went out wif spartans... i tot ish onli spartans 3 but end up s1, s2, s3 & s4 ish there... hehe... 63 ppl go watch movie... cool huh??? wahaha... the show we watch ish nice... hehe... the gl watch before le... but they still acc us watch... hehe... actuali wanna watch house of wax... but cine dun have... end up we watch coach carter... it's a nice show... hehe... quite happy today... can see spartans ppl... not onli spartans ish there... eleens & trogan were at orchard too... hehe... sho many np student there man... hehe... :p went play pool then went hm around 12 plus... today saw kai wen... sho qiao man... he ish angela neighbour wor... s'pore ish sho small... hehe... wei birthday today wor... ivy send the present to her house... hehe... meet her awhile today onli... coz time clash wif outing... hehe... hope everyone dun mind... pai sehz wor... hehe... heard dat wei long didn't go for his camp... he kena dehydration wor... ko lianz... he say he fever... mi oso kena wor... mi oso dehydration marz??? i dun thin sho bahz... hehe... :p tonight dunno y will suddenly miz him... i thin i still need sometime... i thin he ish doin well bahz... dat day heard clara say he went out wif a group of galz... hope he get his miss right soon bahz... hehe... all the best for him... actuali going camp make no diff bout my feelings for him... it's still there larz... but dun wanna say nia... hehe... :p hao larz... wanna org org le... nitez frenz... tc...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

sports camp life...

2005-05-13T15:40:00.000+08:00

this sports camp ish not as fun as foc... all of us still prefer foc... hehe... the programme ish boring... intro sports nia... neva forget the time spend wif pyxis...

last day (12 may 2005)
i wake up then i realised dat i kena draw... the stupid wei long woke up in the middle of the nitez to come look for mi & draw mi... ass... he draw my face somemore... ass... in the end i draw him back... fair... but i use orange colour draw him... bo hua... hehe... today got lots of free time... we went convention there see cca... then we go sport gallery there play volley ball... hehe... feel like joining volley ball... :p we went hm after dat... thru out this camp... didn't reali thin of him... coz i'm occupied wif the programmes... until the time i waiting for wei... i took out my phone & saw our ring... haiz... nvm... hehe... tired... mi wanna go slp le... nitez... sweet dreamz...

day 3 (11 may 2oo5)

today de game ish better... we escape butter game in foc... but we still gonna play for sports camp... damn disgusting... & the magarine went into my eyes... see thin oily oily de... hehe... wei long veri gd... help mi wipe... wahaha... thanz... :p the campfire ish not bad... we went to the conventional hall & the fire were set upwif light & red transparent paper... due to lack of time to practise... our dance ish a mess... but still can make through... hehe... after campfire... there's a 5 mins disco nitez... LAME~!!! 5 mins nia... bo liaoz... foc rox... at nitez si xian went off... lynn neva come back at all... sianz... got to be alone again... i try go talk to those guys... coz guys dun reali mind mi around... but gals got their own click & always wif them nia... haiz... ko lianz... we play truth or dare wif melvin, wei long, farhana, coconut & frenz... then i reali veri tired jiu go slp... the first person to slp ish wei long... he veri tired bahz... he juz now lie on my leg a while jiu slp le... this time lie on the ground oso... actuali wei long & frenz oso leaving de... then i kp him not to leave... daren (mi mi yan) say tml then go coz raining... hehe... mi fell a slp a few mins ltr... today no lights off... hope i'll not get draw...

day 2 (10 may 2005)

morning got pt wor... hate it man... tired... ran 1.2 km wor... veri tired... can u imagine morning eat biscuit nia... how to survive??? as i tot... i keep kp say hungry... wahaha... veri tired wor... 2 days onli slp 6 hr nia... somemore game play ish a bit sianz... the lunch ish noodle... where got ppl eat noodle if they gonna do sports??? the nitez game was boring... we juz go statio to station to cheer... we decide to dance for skid thin... mi partner ish wei long... hehe... at nitez... lynn & si xian left... onli left wif mi le... sho i went to slp wif wei & frenz... sho ko lianz...

day 1 (09 may 2005)

reach there... their organisation not bad... hehe... mi group wif melvin & wei long... hehe... after settling down & do hao our stuff... we go try out sports... it quite sianz... dun reali like it... hehe... the food ish better than foc... quite nice... hehe... the nitez walk ish boring... foc rox... the bath thin can say got gd & bad... it's gd coz can bath alone... it's bad coz need wait veri long... end up slp at 4 plus... & gonna wake up at 7 the next day... slp 3 hr plus nia wor...

Signing off~
-o-X-y-G-3-n-

sat & sun

2005-05-09T19:03:00.000+08:00

Sunday (08 may 2005)

went out wif sok, shanny, teck, andy, vin... actuali wanna buy lappy bag... but too ex... hehe... actuali wanna watch movie oso de... but can't coz sok neva bring ic all dat... cannot confirm she 16 le... sianz ahlf... but okie larz... got meet them i jiu happy le... :p at nitez go eat wif bei, mei
& their mama... after dat come hm update this bloggy... now veri late le i still haven slp... die le... tml gonna wake up earli... got camp till 12... going slp le.... nitez...

Saturday ( 09 may 2005)

today got wk wor... sho ko lianz... after camp jiu muz wk... mi late for 30 mins... hehe... but louisa neva say anyhtin... i told her before le... hehe... today at last got time to talk to clara... we stood there talk for the whole day... happy wor... wahaha... at nitez neva go out... juz go hm... hehe... :p gonna rest... hehe...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

camp life... spartans rocks

2005-05-09T18:48:00.000+08:00

1st day of camp... (03 may 2005)

first day os camp jiu got funny thin happen le... a lady who got make up on her face & she brought a luggage wor... wahaha... everybody call her tai tai... wahaha... :p mi, wei & ariel were seperated wor... sho sad... hehe... actuali mi ish in spartans group 1 but i chnage to group 3 to acc mi juz noe de frenz... wahaha... shhh... :p my first frenz in the camp ish call angeline... nice to noe u... :p we got 4 groups... out of 4 groups... every group ish divided into 4 group again... can imagine how big ish this camp??? hehe... everythin ish not organised... veri sucky camp sehz... somemore bath wif 2 other ppl... damn it... food oso not eible de... first day onli try talk to ladies... haven reali talk to guys... today de dog & bone got a gal dislocate her arm wor... scary... then mi group got lots of ppl injured... angeline injured too... (pain pain) the feeling of benedict in camp ish weird weird de... juz like seeing des... hehe... but okie larz... seldom see him de... hehe... :p

2nd day of camp... (04 may 2005)

second day of camp de game ish fun... esp water fall... wahaha... mi ish the first gal to go try wor... hehe... fun fun... lucky mi group dun have to play the stupid butter game... arbo jiu will be oily le... hehe... get to talk to other guys in my group le... like those malay & edwin... hehe... after our dinner, we sit wif tai tai & frenz... after dat we realise dat her gf ish butch... i'm okie wif it... wahaha... :p then we noe y she need bring luggage le... coz she brought hair dryer... wahaha... we all stunned sehz... wahaha... after dat the intructor told us dat the sch ish haunted... tai tai & frenz wanna go hm... hehe... after a while... we go watch shutter at lectural hall... nice show... watch second time but still scare... wahaha... :p mi request to watch finish the show then go nitez walk... hehe... mi went nitez walk wif sam & another 2 malay from other group... actuali they wanna put 1 gal & 1 guy de... but time constrain... we 4 person go... mi partner ish sam... hehe... find out dat sam ish from ghim moh... hehe... he smaller than mi 1 yr... hehe... during the walk mi & sam walk behind... hoping dat walk behind will be more scary... wahaha... reali scary... mi keep screaming... sam ish caring anyway... thanz... hehe... :p nice to noe u sam... :p get to noe the first guy from our group... :p

third day of camp (05 may 2005)

battle field de game ish fun... but swimming was gone... coz onli limited ppl can play... but nvm.. cheer for them... :p after dat we thin of skit for campfire... mi & edwin act as the monkey... no gals wanna be the female monkey... i jiu be lorz... anyway oso gd... we dun have to rmb any lines... juz jump & eat banana can le... :p the campfire was gone too... coz of the stupid rain... humph... but campfire at lectural hall oso gd... coz got microphone all dat... but cannot dance... hehe... but in the end we still manage to see fire larz... coz rain stop... we got a surprise disco nitez... but mi expected it le... hehe... :p it was fun anyway... :p mi & edwin dance like hell... hehe... tonight no lights off... if u slp... then will be decorated wif marker & toothpaste... wahaha... we end up sitting there solving some lame riddles... & play some game... hehe... thanz chin wei... :p

last day of camp (06 may 2005)

we went to bath around 5 plus... after bath craps again... hehe... to prevent us from slpin... we played turth or dare... but we thin truth no fun... we change it to dare & dare & dare... hehe... mi kena 4 times... 1, get hp num from a nerdy guy... 2, dance dustbin dance... 3, kiss a GL (group leader) cheek... 4, go gents... lame idea... hehe... but worse ish mi frenz... took off his pants... omg~!!! hehe... took some photo of sam & edwin... hehe... today ish a sad day... everyone dun bear to leave... make us wanna cry... end up hugging each other... i'll miz u guys de... *mUaCkZ* keep in contact wor... i thin the most thin i hate in this camp ish food, bathing wif ppl & mass dance... hehe... i love the disco nitez... :p mi went hm & slp for 2 hrs then go meet nie, kor, clara, nerd, hui, teck & vin... we went party world at chinatown... hehe... mi no voice... but still go... can see them jiu hao le... hehe... after dat go eat wif kor & nie le jiu go hm le... :p

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

buaiz buaiz...

2005-05-03T16:29:00.000+08:00

today actuali dun need wk de... end up go wk... coz chris busy in the morning... hehe... during wk... clara, teck & andy come find mi... pei them go walk a while then go back wk... mi draw somethin myself wor... wahaha... but not veri nice... hehe... :p tml camp le... frenz... gonna miz mi wor... friday (6 may) then come back wor... hehe... can't log in this few days... hehe... i'll update it when i'm back... hehe... hope the camp will be fun... hehe... they left qs a while ltr... after dat & kor come find mi... mi wanna finish wk le... hehe... after dat they pei mi go bugis collect jie jie de zippo... hehe... after dat go orchard meet andy, teck, neh, sok & shanny... after meeting them... nie nie become weird weird de... i thin ish coz of sok bahz... she jealous marz??? she's a half leo half cancer... mi & bao get jealous veri easily de... hehe... or she scare kor will like sok again??? kor veri worry wor... hehe... nie nie... dun worry... kor onli love u... i noe how u feel larz... coz last time my ex go out wif ppl i oso scare of losing them... but u trust them jiu hao... hehe... now tv got a show on deep fried chicken... suddenly feel like eating the xxl chicken... *yummy* des oso like it wor... mi recomment de... wahaha... :p but nie dun reali like it... coz it's spicy & ish breast meat... hehe... :p feel like eating them now... hehe... afetr camp come back muz go eat... hehe... :p

guys ish reali selfish man... they thin dat they dun wan hurt the gal jiu can say dun wan patch... y they can't thin like wat gal thin??? for mi... i thin if they scare to hurt the gal... they should treat the gal better than they used to... m i rite??? diff ppl will have diff thinkin bahz... though i oso gave up 1 relationship coz i thin the guy ish suffering... but overall... i thin i should ask myself again... if he ish reali suffering... i should treat him better bahz... i oso dunno y guys thin letting go ish the best... i thin they juz find excuses to get another gal bahz... it's a selfish thinkin... u can get someone who noe u will le... u still wanna give up... y??? wondering y i'll say all this stuff rite??? mi not being dump again... mi oso not thinkin of past... ish coz juz now chat wif kevin... realise he still love mei...trying to help... hehe... but dunno can marz... juz say wat i thin... can't force them to be together de... love ish blind... kevin thin the same as des & bei... dat's y i wonder izzit all guy thin this way??? which i thin ish stupid & selfish reason... wat u thin??? hehe...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

saturday & sunday...

2005-05-01T17:08:00.000+08:00

sunday, 1 may 2005

today go out wif sis... hehe... ltr yuan yuan xin zhi zu come meet us... hehe... go buy some camp stuff... hehe... broke le... :p hehe... after dat go hm try play mi de lappy... hehe... lappy gonna low batt soon... hehe... can't write much le... :p goin pack my stuff for camp le... tml then update... :p nitez...

saturday, 30 may 2005

today go wk... make bao de puzzle again... xin tong... mi make sho xin ku gonna finish soon then end up mixed up... sianz half... alan wanna help but end up kena scold him... wahaha... bad mi... bo pian... cannot treat him gd de... hehe... lappy arrive hm today... wahaha... :p after wk go hm mum mum... then go down pei bei bei go mum mum... hehe... go hm around 3... hehe... des didn't got in wor... wasted... he muz be veri sad... train sho hard for it... sad... it's a waste oso...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

fri & sat... not a gd day...

2005-04-30T17:37:00.000+08:00

friday, 29 april 2005

today morning log in msn then chat wif him... feel dat i can treat him as normal frenz le... chat wif him like i chatting wif my other guys frenz.... no diff bahz... but i dn flirt wif him... & dun talk craps bahz... after dat go meet wei, teck & ivy around 12 then go walk walk... after dat meet ah neh at clementi... he late wor... lucky got ivy pei mi talk... hehe... after dat we went down orchard meet nie, clara, des & wei jian... after dat bernard & vincent oso came... hehe... we went to eat yoshinoya... mi & ivy onli eat some small stuff... all the guys went walk walk.. then after eating we went to find them at far east... mi went to far east 2 time today wor... damn sianz... after dat while we r walking in group... des went into a shop to see disc... nobody realise it... they juz walk without him... but mi ask them stop... after he came out he onli join the guys... didn't even ask us to go together or wat... haiz... after dat des & jian walk quite fast... then the rest of the guys ish slow... gal ish middle... then everybody spilt way kind... then des & jian go walk walk without us... haiz... ps... haiz... i dun like today de outing... coz everyone ish sho seperated kind... veri bo liaoz kind... after sitting down at bk for a while... i jiu go fetch hui... when we reach bk, des & jian ish down le... des ask daryl down... we slack a while those guys jiu say wanna go le... neva even discuss wif us wor... haiz... after des say buaiz buaiz to mi but i neva reply wor... sorry wor... actuali i wanna ask y go off sho earli... but dun wanna aask him sho talkin to others... pai sehz... i was able to drag the rest back except des & daryl... but nvm... let him go back rest... tml got audition... anyway all the best... then we went mac cafe rot... sho qiao... we saw robin & his frenz... thin veri long before msgin him juz now... wishin him gd luck... nie ask mi dun msg...but mi still msg... i go wif my heart lorz... reali feel unhappy bout today stuff... bout the guys... esp bout him... today we treat each other like stranger... weird weird de... mi like to di siao ppl & talk alot but suddenly like evri quiet... weird mi... i thin next time wun reali ask him out... coz he like veri sianz goin out wif us... haiz... actuali today got the tot of goin sparks de... jer jio mi go... but nobody wanna pei mi... jiu no go le... hehe... oso gd larz... tml got wk... :p
talk to jas juz now... surprise dat she'll call mi... but most surprise ish i pick up the call... bo pian private num... i dunno who izzit... hehe... she talk to mi bout her & rodney... then mi suddenly thin of him again... coz she say feel like saying sorry to rodney & hug him... dat's wat i wanna do dat time oso man... shit.... muz forget man... xin ku... feel like seeing him... haiz... gonna use sometime to tiao zhen my feeling... give myself somemore time... i onli noe it's a muz to forget... sorry... i juz dun wan both of us xin ku anymore... juz hope dat i'll always have nie nie de support to ask mi forget him... hehe... thanz nie nie...

Joke of the day...

Ivy- today i talk to ivy bout the shirt she's wearing... then she say most of the shirt she have will go out of shape after mama wash a few times... ltr she correct herslf... she say ish the vacuum cleaner wash till out of shape... it should be washing machine... this ish juz a mistake... but her expression ish ko ai... wahaha...

Hui- i tot she go nursing wun be sho blur le... will be more careful... but didn't expect no change at all... while we was at mac cafe slack... she writing ah ma b'day date... blur she... forget ah ma b'day... she tot ish 5 may... it's 13 MAY~!!! hehe... she sudden ask mi... "where's my liquid (correct fluid)??? i lose my liquid le larz... dunno who took it..." i jiu help her find... the "liquid" ish actuali on her hand wif those handful of pen... & the cap was opened de... (-_-"') this ish onli 1 part... still got part 2... wahaha... after dat... she take out her paper to give nerd see thin... while she's packing she realise dat 1 of her file gone... she jiu tell mi her file disapear... i wanna help her find... but she say wanna find herself... still veri zuai... then i saw it under her butt... she was sitting on it.. i start laughing & i can't stop man... i was laughing & telling nie she sitting on it... wahaha... blur hui... i wanna tell the guys bout it but she dun allow... but in the end i still able to tell them... hehe... cannot stand her man... reali blur but she's cute... she bring laughter to mi... in fact ish to all of us... hehe... how i wish i can be like her... everyday wif a smile... but i noe she oso got moment of unhappiness... mi thin too much le bahz... muz thin simple now... hehe...

thursday, 28 april 2005

today wk... veri sianz... sit there for around 9 hrs to help bao make puzzle.... tired... but not done yet... coz of her puzzle... i today onli eat 1 meal & 2 rolls of seaweed chicken... hehe... leave wk place around 11... all the thanz to the puzzle man... but bo pian... bao no time do... she got to wk... off day gonna go kelly house pei her... poor bao... esther jio mi go chiong but mi dun wan... wahaha... guai marz??? :p hehe... hehe... actuali wanna meet bei go mum mum... but he wanna meet mi veri long ltr... sho i tell him dun wan meey... i ask jie jie pei mi go eat... hehe... tml still gonna go out... tired...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

last msg for des...

2005-04-29T16:30:00.000+08:00

actuali i have somethin for u des... or should i say ish some "last word"... i'm writting this ish NOT trying to get u back or wat... this ish wat i thin... juz wanna "voice" it out... i reali sad dat u will choose to give up but it's expected le... no surprise... but i thin it's better for both of us bahz... at least we r much more happier now... not xin ku le... (chang tong bu ru duan tong) u have ur reason for not patchin(u scare to hurt mi again)... but wat i wanna say ish still the same as the past... relationship sure will have ups & downs... break up doesn't mean it's the end... it oso dun mean it can be patch back.. but nobody dun get hurt in a relationship... i thin the best u do for the LONG break ish u dun even go find a stead... dun find 1 if u thin u dun feel like having 1... if u feels like having 1... u oso muz thin again... will u love the gal wif ur whole heart & put the gal above all ur frenz??? thin bout it again before u wanna go into a relationship... i noe guys need to be pampered... mi pamper u by small little gifts.... coz i noe i dunno how to talk to make someone smile... & u pamper mi by words & of coz actions too... but u miz those small little action i need... but nvm... i dun need it anymore... oh ya... i didn't say the reason for not patching... juz in case u wanna noe... 1st ish u say u wan mi forget u de... 2nd ish i'm all alone le... i can't do anythin le... i muz let go... 3rd ish i dun wan anyone to suffer le... it reali hurts... now... i'll somehow treat u as stanger... i thin u oso feel it... i dunno wat to talk to u... i juz try my best to talk to u indirectly bahz... if msg & msn i somehow can chat wif u... but face to face i still can't ... all this ish juz my point of view... i didn't expect anyone to agree wif mi... juz wanna write it in my "diary"... feelin for u ish fading le... & almost to zero... anyway thanz for the "FORGET ME!!!" dat u send mi... it reali helps alot... now... i feel much better le... i'm somehow back to normal.. juz need more time... hope camp will help alot.... forgettin mi ish easy bahz... like dat oso gd... u dun need suffer anymore... juz wanna ask u take care of urself jiu hao... dun need worry for mi anymore... & pls... dun ever say u love mi or miz mi... i dun need all this... & dun treat mi sho gd hao marz??? all this will make mi suffer more nia... if u still treat mi as a frenz jiu let mi go... i believe dat u dun say love u to ur frenz de bahz... RMB~!!! I'M UR FRENZ... thanz for letting mi go... take care... miz ya... muackz... sorry... i'm use to type "miz ya" & "muackz" to my frenz le... sho u muz get use to it oso... ur frenz de "style" ish like dat de... if got anythin wanna say to mi or wat... can call mi, msg mi, put some comments or send mi msg thru friendster... i'll always reply de... actuali this msg ish to apologise dat i'm treatin u as stranger instead of frenz... but i end up writing alot here... hehe...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

first time on bike.... shiok...

2005-04-28T15:35:00.000+08:00

morning go swimming wif wei, jess, max, alex & jerrel (spell wrong bahz)... hehe... feel great man... hehe... afetr dat max & alex send us to wk wif their bike... OMG~!!! first time on bike wor... scary... alex de bike behind got nothin to support... veri scary.... wahaha... but shiok... today de time veri difficult pass wor... at there eat alot... actuali to other ppl ish little.. but to mi ish alot.... hehe... mi now whole day de meal like 1 guy de 1 meal nia... wahaha... but can jian fei.... hehe... not gu yi de wor.. ish reali not hungry... wahaha... juz now afetr wk bao help her frenz pierce her belly wor... scary... now sunno wan pierce le marz.. wait till i finish all my camps le then decide bahz.. wahaha...

today at wk place veri sianz... thin of him again... whenever i thin of him i jiu will try do somethin else... try to focus on other thin... reali bo pian... if i continue to thin i jiu will start beating or pinchin myself le... i got no choice... i have to totally give up... onli treat him as a frenz... juz now see his reply le i nearly cry... but i force myself not to.. hehe... he say till he se bu de... but y he wan ask forget??? wat's the point??? like dat make both of us suffer... i made a veri cruel decision... i juz ask him dun say all those stuff to mi le... he noe i'll xin luan still like dat say for wat??? dunno wat he thinking... give up ish he decide de.... juz let mi go bahz... i reali dun wan sho xin ku le... sorry to be sho cruel... i got no choice... both of us ish sufferring... haiz... let mi go pls... thanz for ur understanding... no more dragging pls... last time writing a paragraph for u le... no more le... next time ish all daily stuff le...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

solve once & for all bahz... cruel de mi...

2005-04-27T15:03:00.000+08:00

today earli mornng wake up realise mi eyes red red wor... pain pain sehz... got to wear specs to wk...hehe... today veri qiao... saw leslie & mi de pri sch frenz...they in same course wor... sho qiao wor... hehe... mi gu yi veri cold to alan... hope will be better... hehe... dun wan him to touch mi anymore... he tot he gu yi do stun in front of mi will make jealous... pls.... i dun gif a damn... wahaha... today tot of buying thin for jer coz he help mi yest... but too late... he bought it le... sianz... hehe... still owe him a favour... dunno wat how to repay him... wahaha... :p *bleahz* next time bahz... :p dunno tml wan go swimming before wk marz... wei going wif her colleague... mi still thinkin... 1 ish pai sehz... 2 ish dun wanna sit their bike... but i can sit on bike wor... but promise bei to sit his first before other ppl wor... still thinkin... ltr then decide... hehe... :p this few days have been msg~ing him thru friendster de msg... & i've tot thru & reali wanna give up... today de msg... reali ask him dun say love mi or miz mi anymore... at last i have the courage to say le... & i didn't vry le... no more tears le... all used up le.... wahaha... he have chosen to ask mi forget... i'm juz doin wat he wan... i will neva say love or miz him... no matter i did or didn't... actuali to be honest... i can't forget sho fast de... but forcing myself now... juz wana be cruel & solve it once & for all... dun wanna drag le.. veri xin ku & tong ku... like dat i'll die de... i veri selfish horz??? but i dun care le... dun wan let both of us suffer le.... juz wish him all the best bahz... all the best for his audition... take care frenz...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

relax day... feel alot better le... :p

2005-04-26T18:16:00.000+08:00

can see mi de make up marz??? mei mei marz??? :p

today wk full wor... sianz... still got 3 more days to go... today jer msg mi... hehe... he wkin then veri sianz... find mi pei him msg.. i ask him see he free to come down pei mi marz... hehe... i ask him free to come down help mi marz... hehe... surprisingly he say okie... i tot he will say ltr confirm or see first or wat... but he say will come... i damn happy.. got ppl help mi avoid him le... *ai si ni le* muackz... wahaha... :p dunno y everytime i see him i will feel veri happy de... wahaha... like mi de kai xin gou... wahaha... bei bei come down pei mi wor... he ben ben de... poke orieo de cup oso dunno how to poke... poke till his shirt oso kena... wahaha... today mi make up wor... the stupid eye liner hai dao mi de eyes red red... humph... no gd... :p 8 plus jong come find mi... lucky wor... coz the ben dan jer haven come... he in bus... then he neva come mi shop chao mi... lucky got jong... thanz wor... muackz... mi meet wei to go see bermudas after wk... hehe... :p jer call mi & ask where mi... mi go out the shop juz nice he walk pass... sho qiao wor... wahaha... ben dan... wahaha... he waited for us quite long wor... pai sehz... hehe... :p i noe u dun mind de... wahaha... :p we sit at my house downstair chat a while.... wahaha... veri nice to talk to long time no see kind of frenz... hehe... he keep on kena shoot by mi... i noe he can talk back but he dun wan... wahaha... sho nice wor... wahaha... mama msg him around 11... ask him go hm... sure kena scold de... coz he today neva go sch... *bu guai le wor* wahaha... muz go sch wor... :p hehe... got his reply le... he wanna mi forget him... mi expected this reply le... wahaha... but nvm... i oso intend to let go le.. :p lucky he neva say dun wan give up... hehe... life actuali ish better now... onli will sianz & short of 1 person to msg... hehe... but mi get in contact wif a few frenz again wor... like jer... veri happy... hehe... juz hope dat mi & des wun lose contact jiu hao... gonna be frenz foreva de wor... wahaha... today bei bei neva msg mi after wk... wahaha... i thin he noe i lazy go down de larz... wahaha... pai sehz arhz... hehe... wan go org org le... tml got wk... hehe... do visit my blog again & give some comments... nitez... sweet dreamz... :p

suddenly rmb the moment spend wif chiazz... miz u guys lots wor... hehe... rmb dat tiem we go sentosa de outing... reali happy dat onli 7 of us & most importantly ish everyone find time to come... hehe... i rmb dat in the morning sun ish veri bright... but afternoon suddenly rain... hehe... we gatehr under the shelter... the sea de wave reali nice... hehe... but didn't have the chance to take it down... the rain reali big... we all shivering there wor... hehe... we move into the bigger shelter to eat the stuff we bought... end up playing zhong ji mi ma to finish up.. i thin mi & wei ate the most... not coz we lose... ish coz u all dun wan eat... wahaha... but nvm... hehe... hao xiang nian wor... but some of u start sch le... no time go le... but nvm... muz study hard hard... hehe... :p mi give u all moral support... hehe... hope to see u guys soon... :p mi juz ate stomache de med... now feel like vomitting... coz mi juz now neva eat dinner... stomach veri empty jiu eat med le... hehe... mi still not slpy wor.... how huh??? die le... hehe :p

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

tml die le larz... :X

2005-04-25T19:39:00.000+08:00

hehe... went to drink beer wif bei bei yest... veri nice to slp wor... lucky today no wk... arbo sure cannot wake up on time de... wahaha... :p today at hm rot... actuali wan find nie go swimming de... but kor no wk... jiu let her acc him lorz... they onli can meet up at weekend... sho ko lianz... hehe... around eveing nie & kor come find mi... i was playing wif my eye liner thin... they come my house find mi... hehe... they bluf mi say haven eat... coz they noe i sure haven eat de... wahaha... actuali ish wanna go eat wif mei de... but she say lazy go down... lucky still got kor & nie... hehe... thanz wor... hehe... :p after dat go mei mei house to take some camp stuff... hehe... slack there a while jiu go hm le... bei bei finish wk then msg mi ask mi wan go down slack marz... but mi lazy... hehe... somemore ltr wk full shift de... wahaha... :p die le... tml ah bao off... who gonna help mi???? shit... bei got wk... how i gonna avoid alan??? shit... juz now send a msg to him... asking him reali wanna fang qi marz... i noe wun get gd reply de... but juz give it a try... hehe... like last time... if mi neva try mi & bei de relationship we jiu wun be sho gd de frenz now le... hehe... :p sho happy to have bei in my life... but he gonna die ltr than mi... coz he got to listen to my nag till i die... wahaha... her gf or wife cannot jealous de... we too gd de frenz le... hehe... wheneva i'm sad bei bei jiu will msg mi le... dunno y... somehow connected... wahaha... he's mi de guardian angel or should i say devil??? always bully mi de... like bully xiao mei mei like dat... but i bigger wor... humph... sorry wor frenz... make u all worry... mi hand de wound ish bu xiao xin cut dao de... the blood dun wan stop sho i take picz... hehe... nice horz??? wahaha... wan go watch tv le... update again tml with his reply... hehe... :p

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

sianz sianz day... >miz ya<

2005-04-24T15:29:00.000+08:00

today wk full shift wor.. sianz... but nvm... can earn some cash... hehe... after wk go watson wif bao... bought some make up stuff... wanna learn make up le... hehe... dat day bought de dark choc reali nice... now then i noe how nice dark chocc ish... *yummy* hehe... it's better... but if u noe how to taste... it do taste sweet... seems like life... hehe... gonna meet bei bei ltr... i thin gonna drink beer... hehe... :p today neva reali thin of going find him... maybe ish coz yest bahz... i thin i'm disturbing his life... nvm... like dat oso better... hehe...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

first time go sparks... sianz... >miz u<

2005-04-23T18:58:00.001+08:00

today finish wk then go out wif sis... at nitez go chiong... sianz sianz... bao wanna go off earli.... mi went abc... actuali wanna ask him down... but i didn't tell him straight... i juz ask him if i wan aask him out can marz... but provided he ish free... he say he tml gonna wake up earli sho cannot... i jiu bluff him say ish other day... not today... i gong gong de sit at th playground there see star star... i oso dunno wat i'm doing... reach holland dun go hm... go abc sit for hr plus... reach hm around 3... i dunno wat i wan.... nie nie bought a tigger for mi wor... the baby tigger i like... hehe... love it man... hehe... thanz nie nie... love ya... hehe.... today got a veri qiao thin happen... a guy pass by the corridor there... i find him veri famimliar... jiu pointed at him & ask him izzit from np??? but he from nyp de... *stunned* he ish veri shy kind de... i thin he pei xia dao le... hehe... pai sehz arhz... hehe... i tell him i rmb y i thin he familiar le then tell him... *lame* mi wun get to see him le... hehe... but the qiao de thin ish i saw him again at far east... then i told jie jie... she thin it's qiao oso... hehe... wanna noe this frenz lehz... hehe... fate to be frenz de wor... wahaha... :p

he ask mi forget him but he still say love mi & miz mi all dat.... wat he wan??? r u trying to flirt wif mi now or u reali still love mi??? if flirt... i'll flirt wif u oso de... but if reali love mi... y muz give up??? i reali dunno wat to do... totally lose now.... haiz... mi reali bu se de like dat give up... i'll wait for ur reply then i see how bahz.. juz respect ur decision lorz... i dun wanna thin sho much le... let fate decide bahz... dun ask mi forget u can le... i reali dun wan... & i can't... i'm not machine... i can't tell myself to forget jiu can forget de... haiz.. take care of urself....

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

for des.....

2005-04-22T18:29:00.000+08:00

this pain can neva be compare to the pain in my heart...

des... dun ever read my blog again... u wan mi forget u... do u noe u r veri selfish... i noe forgettin mi ish an easy task for u... but have u ever tot for mi... u thin there ish no happiness... i noe it oso... but i juz wanna say i'm not a machine... i can't save the data in as & when i like... i now onli treat u as a hi bye frenz... i didn't expect any patch up le... i noe i shouldn't be selfish... juz for my happiness i wanna make u sad marz??? i can't do dat... even i have u by my side... i noe ur heart ish not wif mi... wat's the point of having u then??? from the start... i noe i can't be a gd stead... i shouldn't have show any interest in u or even be close to u... everythin ish my fault... u dun have to feel guilty... i dun wan u feel guilty too... & i've say le... this blog ish a memory... but not somethin for u to see to make u come back to mi... haiz... i'm damn sad now~hurtz~... i'm not as happy go lucky as u in a relationship... u wun be able to connect to my blog unless u have my blog web in ur laptop... totally disappointed.... haiz.... i will not ever disturb or interfere ur life le... enjoy urself... take care...
~DEAD!!!!~

>a bitch's life will neva have happiness<

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

wat to do....

2005-04-22T17:56:00.000+08:00

today boring... rot at hm then go wk... after wk go magic shop wif bao... we at there rot for 1 hr like dat... noe a sp guy... yr 1 de oso.. hehe.. recently noe quite a num of poly ppl even before goin in poly... hehe... tml goin sparks wor... if nie nie read this sure wan kp mi le.... wahaha... but dun worry.... mi will tell u de... dun scare mi dun wan tell u... hehe... sure will tell u de.... this time got bei & bao acc mi... dun need worry... no alcohol oso... hehe... juz wanna noe the atmosphere nia... hehe... :p mi wan go crazy le larz.... he keep coming mi shop... wk too near him le... eat oso muz come my shop.... dunno for wat sehz... bao patch wif kelly le... they love each other lotz... but bao still rmb wat happen... wat's the point??? will they be happy??? wish them all the best bahz.. dun wan see bao sad anymore... she cut her hand & tattoo her hand coz of her... haiz... mi see le oso xin tong sehz... today msg nie nie... ask her can pierce belly marz... hehe... i win le... she say okie... wahaha... actuali mi oso wish i can tattoo... not for anyone or wat... mi last time jiu wanna tattoo mi leg or hand le... & pierce my nose & belly... but dunno wan marz... still thinkin... hehe... now ish thinkin bout piercing belly... hehe... juz now got ppl come see shop wor... look like louisa wanna sell this shop like dat... hope not... arbo i jobless le... hehe...

yest nitez cry again... dunno y i listen to tong hua jiu will cry le... weirdo... hehe... nitez ish the onli time i can cry... i dun every wanna cry in front of frenz le... or even my fam mem... i muz act a string front but in fact i'm not dat strong de... everyone ish askin mi not to sad or cry... now... mi de msn nick try not to put sad de... blog oso muz try not to write sho sad le... everyone ish worry... i'm emotional... cannot blame... hehe... yest i cry till quite terrible... take quite some time to stop crying... end up slp around 6 plus... lucky wk evening de... but tml wk 12 wor... dunno can fall a slp marz... hehe... yest before slp still got msg him & nie a morning msg... hehe... he msg mi juz now wor... (happy) hehe... although juz a simple msg asking mi to move on wif life, dun stop there & dun thin bout the past... but i still feel happy... coz i noe he care... hehe... i'm satisfy le... i can't ask for more oso... juz now chat wif him in msn... mi veri happy... hehe... juz simple chatting but veri happy le... hehe... juz wish dat one week can talk to him around 1 time i jiu happy le... hehe... 2 weeks once oso okie larz... coz i noe we nothin much to talk le... hehe... but sorry wor... i noe i can't move on... everythin will not be forgotten de... the love i gave can't be withdraw as & when i like... i can make myself love u more.. but i can't make myslef forget u dat easily... everythin takes time... i thin it'll be better for u dat u dun read my blog... coz by reading my blog will make u rmb everythin & worry bout mi... i'll write down the thin i rmb everythin now & then... & bout my daily life... if i miz u i'll write here de... dat's wat this blog ish meant to be... i can lie to everyone dat i forget bout u or i didn't miz u... this blog ish juz like i talkin to myslef.. no point lying to myself when i noe wat i thinkin... i regret on stuff i do now & then... sho i now dun dare to make any decision on my own... pian cheng yi ge mei zhu jian de ren le... (bu zhi dao wei se me wo mei chi dou yao den dao shi qu cai hui qu zhen xi...) haiz... take care... i'm always by ur side...

>yi ge ren de sheng hou qi shi bu nan gou... ke shi dang ni yong you le you shi qu hou de sheng hou cai nan gou... wo yi zhi yi wei mei you ni wo hui gou de hen kai xin... ke shi wo cuo le... ni li kai hou wo zhen de gan jue dao se me jiao zhou tong ku... mei you ni de sheng hou wo bu zhi dao gai zen me gou...<

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

boring day... >miz ya<

2005-04-21T17:49:00.000+08:00

bei bluff mi.... say wan eat then end up no eat... juz talk a while jiu go wk le... today reali sianz man.... ah bao didn't go wk... nobody pei mi talk.... but lucky when i reach wk a while ivy & kai ming come talk to mi... hehe... after dat saw jer, xin yi &vincent *yuck*... opps... :x hehe... bo pian... i dun like him... hehe... lucky wor... today alan not around... he not feeling well went hm le... arbo he sure will ask mi go hm together & wan send mi hm de... *god bless* hehe... after wk i go shoppin wif wei... hehe... she bought a bermudas... after dat jiu go hm le.... boring wor... hehe.... bei juz msg mi... he juz finish wk... hehe... actuali he wan ask mi out but mi at hm le... hehe... he say nvm... hehe... actuali mi oso lazy go down... hehe...

juz now after buying food... on the way hm... i look up the sky... veri nice... alot of starz wor... suddenly rmb him again... i still rmb dat time i ask him acc mi go meet bee yan to pass her thin... after meeting bee yan... we went to my house nearby de car park to see stars... dat nice de star ish quite nice... but he thin it's bo liao to see star... haiz... nvm... i still love watching star... even alone oso okie de... i see star jiu will happy le... another time seeing star ish when i go abc find him... after eating we dunno where to go then i suggest car park... but there ish veri few star nia.... dat day we was talking nia... didn't reali see star star... 3 week after break up le... i still sad bout it... & cry sometime.... & address him as dear when talkin to ppl bout him... i will tend to say dear instead of des... hehe.... pai sehz arhz... but sometime somethin dat ish gone jiu will be gone foreva le... at times... still thinkin should i get u back by my side... but sometime tell myself evrythin ish meant to be de... should i put it as a memory or let memory continue to write on... quite a num of ppl proving to mi dat patchin will make love stronger... but some show mi dat patching ish sufferring... i dunno wat to do... i thin we need more time bahz... how i wish we r juz like last time.... when we r not even together... i can still talk to u & contact u... but now no contact le... haiz.. he can simply noe wat i thin & how's my life by reading my blog... but i can't noe how his life ish like now... i can't noe how ish he & wat he's thinkin le.... haiz... maybe juz let everythin be memories bahz... all this will neva be replace... but we'll neva be back le bahz... dat's wat i thin now... i dunno ish there a possiblity to be together marz... & i dun wan bother him bout all this le.. juz hope dat i'm updated wif his life... & i noe i can't interfere his life... no matter wat... i'm always by ur side... need any help juz let mi noe... dun feel weird to tell mi..... juz wanna say i miss u... take care of urself...

[baby, i'm sorry]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

sorry frenz...

2005-04-21T07:06:00.000+08:00

haiz... i tot listening to song can make mi slp easier... but end up when i listen to tong hua i end up crying again... dunno y onli tong hua will make mi cry nia... haiz... sorry frenz... i can't control the tears from rolling down... but better than i use to be last time bahz... need more time... haiz... now using sis lappy to online... not use to the keyboard... hehe... sianz... no water to use... ltr muz bath wif cold water sehz.... *shiver* hehe... hao larz... at nitez then update... gonna go bath le... hehe... gonna pei bei go eat then go wk le... hehe... buaiz buaiz...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

sianz day... >miz ya<

2005-04-20T17:45:00.000+08:00

now then realise mi yest de blog got some part being cut away... oso forget wat i write le... juz complete the sentence nia.... hehe... nie nie say font small... i jiu dun make it fancy le... hehe... juz make it simple.... hehe... today slack at hm then go wk... hehe... tml veri ko lianz... muz wake up earli to bath... coz repair pipe... no water to use... hehe... today after wk go cold storage wif bao then pei bei go 7-11 jiu go hm le... hehe.... veri sianz sehz... hehe...

nie... sorry to make u cry wheneva u read mi de blog.. now nothin much for u to cry le... i've write almost everythin in my heart le... hehe... i noe lots of guy out there.... & u all help mi de match make... but no point de... i wun accept anyone de... there's no chemistry or feeling... if u ask mi patch back wif (long) i wun.... coz shi qu de bu neng cong lai de... it comehow goes the same wif des bahz.... i dun thin i'll patch wif him le.... i noe he ish veri xin ku wif mi... & mi de temper still the same... no point getting him back le bahz... i dun wan hurt him anymore... i can't forget him dat easy as i tot... feelings ish not like cash in bank... i can't withdraw it as & when i like or put in a limited amount... feeling can't be measured de... i dunno i still can accept other guys marz... i now reali dunno wat to do... i'm still confuse... juz dun wan chao u or des le.... u all gonna study... dun always worry bout mi... thanz for ur understanding & encouragement... now i juz wanna treasure all my frenz around mi... i wanna share wif u somethin... i'm dying at queensway... the alan horz..... making mi sick wor.... wahz.... bth him... he try to send mi hm wor... lucky first day got bei & vid pei mi... second day got bao pei mi.... i dunno ah bao off day i how wor... he now keep callin mi dear sehz... scary wor.... how huh??? somemore his msn picz ish mi dat brown picz wor... fuck man... feel like scolding him sehz... i ask him dun put le.. he still put wor... damn it man... how sehz...??? today i talk to another alan wor... the big alan... he come back walk walk... then ask mi got study all dat marz... after talkin to him i suddenly thin of des... he ish rite... it's better to have a frenz than an enemy... haiz... mi reali too strong headed le bahz... haiz...

today talk to bao... she broke off wif kelly le... i suddenly thin of him... thinkin bout y we broke off... suddenly wanna see him again... haiz... but i noe he got to study... this ish the onli reason to stop mi from going to see him... haiz... i dunno wat i'm doin or wat i wan... i'm confused... i telling myself not to thin le... dun wan everybody to worry... ppl will oso sianz bout tellin mi the same thin over & over again... but all this cannot be replace de... haiz... memories will remain in my heart foreva... onli can try to keep in contact bahz... dun blame urself for anythin... not ur fault.... it's my fault... i oso dunno y i love u sho much... maybe coz from the start i neva put in all my heart when u love mi sho much... i love u too late le bahz... sorry... i got no rite to ask u back anymore... juz hope dat u'll find a better gal bahz... actuali wanna send u a nitez msg... but it's late le... have a gd rest bahz... if u happened to read this... juz wan let u noe i'm missing u... sweet dreamz... all the best... take care...

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

happy to see him wif a smile...

2005-04-19T18:27:00.000+08:00

today went np again... hehe... haven finish submitting forms..... hehe.... at last finish le.... hehe... ko lian de teck bro... his lappy got prob..... hehe...... today got wk at 6.... i thin quite lame... 6-9.... but nvm.... better than slack around.... hehe... mi ask nie nie pei mi go mum mum.... hehe... but clara haven finish sch.... & i'm on cab le.... jiu bo pian go rp find her first.... hehe.... mi veri stress sehz.... see sho many unknown ppl.... & scare to see him..... dunno y... maybe ish mei you lian jian ta bahz.... nie got lots of frenz sehz.. we sit there jiu saw a lot of frenz le.... hehe... popular gal wor.... hehe.... somemore today she wear skirt.... sho sweet de lady.... hehe..... bei & vid come find mi wor..... hehe... got ppl fetch mi hm wor..... sho xin fu..... but ish mi de bei bei..... how i wish next time mi love ones will come fetch mi hm.... hehe.... xin fu wor..... hehe... actuali there ish people sending mi hm de... but i dun wan... hehe... sorry arhz... hehe... mi noe u have been there all along.... but u r not my cup of tea..... sorry to be sho straight forward..... juz dun wanna let u thin u stand a chance.... i'm not a gd gal oso..... find a better gal for urself.... sorry.... after eating wif nie at tiong... mi rush to wk..... hehe.... late by few mins.... hehe..... after wk go arcade find bei & vid... go eat mac then go hm.... buy food for mama... end up oso eat.... eat too much le... hehe.... gonna on diet le.... hehe....

nie... dun blame him le can??? it's not his fault... he did give in alot... juz dat i too stubborn le... ish i didn't appreciate wat he done for mi.... not i wan help him say thin or wat... it's true... i'm wrong oso....... u have neva run away & let kor kor chase u before.. but mi lehz??? i'm always doin it... if i were him i oso will sianz de... all this while i've tot thru alot though everyone ask mi not to thin sho much... alot of thin actuali ish my fault... if i didn't say break i wun noe how important he ish to mi oso.... & how stubborn i m..... & most importantly ish our friendship... i've hurt u all sho many times & i dun even realise it... but nvm... leaving him allow him to be happy... it's worth... i neva always thin for him nia.... i oso got thin bout myself de... let time prove everythin bahz.... & pls dun push mi & another "him" together... u noe who m i saying bout de... dun jia jia... hehe... actuali sometime i got hai dao u & kor quarrel wor.... sorry wor.... u now sure stunned... dunno when rite... i noe can le... sorry wor... hehe... u faster go get the thin i give u from clara.... i wan see wat ur reaction ish... wahaha... somebody still gong gong de... dunno wat izzit.... hehe... :p

juz now talk to mama still got attitude..... i dun thin i've change... gonna give myself somemore time... mi dun reali thin of patchin or wat le.... if reali meant to be together jiu will be de...... life now oso not bad... onli thin ish a bit bo liaoz.... coz frenz start sch le except mi..... hehe..... today he look cute wor..... a beige (my fav colour) top & a jeans... the thin dat make him look ko ai ish his bag pack... hehe..... mi not blaming him coz he neva bring mi cross the road... i onli wanna say i dun need him do all those fancy thin... i juz need all this simple stuff... des... u r reali a gd stead... ish i dunno how to treasure... all this ish i brought upon myself de... dun ever blame urself le..... sorry...

juz to tell everyone..... mi de blog ish not write to let u all thin i ko lian or i wanna make him feel touch sho he could get back to mi.... it's not..... all this ish juz wat i feel nia.... i dun need anyone to ko lian mi.... i'll be back the strong amelia dat everyone use to noe....

>hope dat i can reali have the chance to be ur oxygen<

Signing off~

-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

friday, saturday & sunday... better day...

2005-04-18T19:12:00.000+08:00

3 days neva update my bloggy le wor.... feeling better this few days le...... mi oso xiang kai le.... hehe...... now eating tibits, watchin ghost de show & updating my lil bloggy..... hehe....

>Sunday<
today go ah yi house wif mammy.... still rmb chi new yr dat time i stnd outside ah yi house talkin to him..... & see him from ah yi house outside..... whenever i pass by queensway or bukit merah i'll rmb the time spent...... but nvm larz... all this ish juz memories le.. i muz learn how to let go.... sure will sat larz.... but muz learn.... actuali today goin out wif sis de.... but in the end she say dun wan meet mi le.. then i go out wif bei, nie & kor..... nie & kor look reali lovely & sweet..... >all the best<>

>Saturday- 17 april<
today wkin at queensway... dressing room... the place ish not bad.... not dat stress oso..... hehe..... hope can wk more... hehe.... bao bought mi laksa eat wor... she scare i dun wanna eat.... hehe.... actuali mi oso not hungry..... hehe..... but reali wanna thanz her.. hehe...... actuali today intend to ask him out after i wk... juz wanna see him... but ah bao ask mi pei her go pub wif her boss they all... she say nobody acc her.... she always acc mi go out & listen to my craps... muz pei her... hehe... when we on car, bei call... he come down queensway find mi.... opps.... actuali if i neva go pub wif bao.... i will oso wif bei... i jiu wun go find him le..... ish this call fate??? fate dun wan us to meet...... haiz.... izzit gd or bad??? maybe ish gd bahz.... anyway we go pub everybody look old.... & doubt on our age.. actuali we reali underage larz... hehe... we drink brandy, takila pop & whiskey..... hehe...... all this ish mi wanna try de..... wahaha... i even smoke wor..... i thin ish i too fan le bahz..... onli today nia.... no more next time.... hehe.... i msg wrong person wor..... wanna send to bei but end up send to him... i didn't realise wor..... until he reply.... opps... :x hehe.... pai sehz wor.... hehe... ah bao wanna leave this place & go find frenz.... mi nearly fainted.... coz i smoke & drink..... mi blood circulation ish no gd.... hehe.... this few days always nearly faint or breathin difficulties... dunno y... hehe... maybe ish coz 1 day eat 1 meal or 2 meals.... hehe...... frenz..... dun worry.... mi juz no appetite & not hungry.. i'll eat de.... hehe.... he send mi to holland then i meet bei.... mi ask kor whether wan come out marz.. then told him i juz come back from pub..... end up kena scold.. somemore nie nie wif him... *shit* nie nie noe le... hehe.... but nvm larz.... i'll tell her anyway de.. hehe... we drink beer..... mi feel a bit wanna vomit sho neva drink dat much..... i onli drink 2/3 of a cup nia.... hehe... we went hm around 4 plus..... craps around lorz... hehe... reali can slp well without thinking bout him.... sweet dreamz............. hehe......

>Friday- 16 april<
went to np to submit form wif teck..... i realise dat i forget submit another form..... gonna submit it on mon wif teck le..... ma fan..... hehe..... teck told mi ish shanny de b'day..... i jiu call her to wish her happy b'day..... after dat i call sok bout present thin.... then she jio mi go celebration..... i go wif them coz mi seldom go outing wif them de..... hehe...... dat day got teck, sok, en, ivy, shanny & hui..... we went seoul garden.... veri fun.... hehe.... can't forget the durian cum wasabi de substance.... *yucky* we play zhong ji mi ma.... hehe.... *ivy & hui* y u all wan 88?? y dun wan 87?? 87 i jiu dun need drink the thin le... jiu ish teck drink le..... *yuck* hehe.... reali have lots of fun there.... after dat we decide to watch movie.... actuali wan watch "samara" de.... but ivy, teck & shanny scare sho muz watch other...... in the end we watch "pacifier".... the show ish quite nice..... hehe..... enjoy the soccer game we play before the show.... hehe..... fun fun.... going out wif u all reali fun..... nothin to worry bout...... juz dump all my worries & play.... mi today then noe ivy & km oso broke off le...... dun be sad sad... ivy, u reali show mi dat u r strong wor..... i thin i veri weak wor.... cannot papa muz be stronger de..... hehe..... i'll stand up de.... hehe..... after the show we went hm le.... hehe.... thanz for the cab teck..... hehe..... :p than frenz for the day.... reali fun........ & i didn't thin much dat day...... thanz... take care.....

in a few hr time..... nie, clara, sok, hui &of coz him will be wakin up to go sch le..... sho gd wor.... mi envy them go sch....... he envy mi got holiday.... but mi still stress bout frenz in poly.... hope can find some gd frenz.... anyway.... thanz for the concern u show when u noe i drinkin alcohol..... reali thanz..... fate dun wan mi go find u bahz... actuali ish plan hao le.... & i somehow noe wat to talk when i see u...... coz i always scare see u then nothin to talk.... but now nvm..... we will have our own stuff to do le.... u got sch & i got to wk.... hope i wun see u... coz even if we see each other..... the atmosphere will be weird...... we dunno wat to talk to each other & we will like treat each other as stranger..... at first..... i still got the tot dat if i wanna see u jiu ask u come out...... & of coz ish near ur house larz.... but now i thin of all this point..... i thin better dun bahz..... give u some break... dun disturb u le...... i'll always msg u to let u noe i rmb u... but not dat often larz.... of coz... i thin sometime when got thin then msg or a week msg u one gd nitez msg bahz.... now everythin ish better le..... i wun thin sho much le...... & tears will onli be in my eyes..... they wun come out le..... muz study hard wor... first yr ish lack larz..... but dun forget to play till forget bout ur retake of sci wor..... play hard oso....... take care wor...... dun play till forget bout meals wor......

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

simple day...... >at last see u le<

2005-04-15T17:15:00.000+08:00

today veri late then go out...... coz nie nie slp till 6...... meet mei & evan at queensway around 7 like dat..... acc them buy shoes bag le then nie reach.... go find boss...... actuali intend to shop & but some bermudas for camp but end up neva..... coz wei dunno wat she wanna buy oso.... i thin muz wait till wei off then go shop le....... hehe...... nothin to do...... mi & nie go walk around..... we went up to the magic shop.. ppl there reali amazing wor....... hehe.... feel like we r back to xiao hai zhi le..... hehe..... we look like those xiao mei mei being cheat by those pei pei performing the magic on stage..... hehe..... we went down to le future then saw the guy mi & wei saw yest at bugis... he brought the wrong size down for wei...... hehe.... she gonna be sad le....... ko lian....... after walk walk around...... got bit hungry & bit bloated..... coz mi juz drank a cup of bubble tea....... we decide go abc eat........ msg him but no reply..... guess he playing soccer..... we walk 1 round around the food stall...... dunno wat to eat....... mi suggest to go walk walk..... anyway mi mood oso no gd..... juz wanna find somewhere quiet to sit down..... got nie nie pei..... at least wun make her worry..... now not onli gonna thin for myself..... i oso gonna thin for ppl around mi...... anyway time spend wif nie oso not much le.... coz her sch gonna start..... gonna treasure all time spent..... hehe....... reali will miz them wor..... hope can find weekend to go out....... hehe.... mi actuali wanna go up the hill there sit de..... but scare of mosquito.... sho we went to playground..... mi guess correct wor.... he went to play soccer..... we sit there & listen to song....... chat..... i dunno y everytime i listen to "tong hua" i'll feel like crying de...... i switch the song half way then i tell nie y..... hehe..... pei sehz arhz.. make u cannot listen full song.... mi oso nearly cry out for few song... but try not to.... arbo nie dunno wat to do le..... hehe...... there's a guai guai de black & white cat wor..... feel like having a cat or dog..... sho ko ai....... saw teck wor.... he go leslie house..... saw leslie go hm after buying milk..... hehe...... des msg mi..... ask mi still around marz..... nie trying to let mi meet him jiu say hungry....... but end up he saw his frenz sho he eating at coffeeshop..... nie find excuse to go coffeeshop...... she say wan go there wash hand & see got wat to eat..... reali thanz nie..... he ish red wor...... i thin he go suntan.... suddenly feel he's far from mi........ there nothin dat mi & nie wan eat...... but les ordered food le....... we gonna eat there...... dat's fate bahz....... haiz...... he drinkin beer again...... can see dat he drank quite alot....... izzit coz of mi??? sorry....... i thin jie jie juz cry.... haiz....... most prob ish quarrel wif bf..... give in to each other bahz...... dun sho strong headed le..... gonna regret de.....

after seeing him.... i noe he enjoy his life now........ dat's gd....... today ish 2nd week after break up le.... still miz him...... juz now after leaving...... i thin veri long...... wan msg him marz....... end up i took up my courage to msg him.... ask him dun drink too much & rest earli..... he ask mi slp earli too coz sch gonna start soon..... mi actuali wanna tell him mi still got a month plus more to go....... but mi neva reply..... if i reply he jiu dunno wat to reply le.. anyway he juz wanna show some concern..... i like dat reply like talking back to him..... better not reply...... yest heard from frenz dat got soccer last nitez... i thin he will watch... mi jiu send him a nitez msg..... he send back 1.... i dunno y i suddenly feel like he got read mi de blog.... but i thin he onli read friendster de bahz....... but nvm.... mi neva update dat 1 le..... hehe... he see oso nvm....... all this ish juz like mi diary...... straight from heart de bahz...... this blog oso not to make him feel touch or come back..... juz allowing him to noe how i feel... but now i reali wan noe how he feel..... haiz..... listening to song still makin mi feel like crying...... but seeing him ish like nothin....... juz like the way i feel after breaking up wif bei.... now got bit worry bout him.. tml gonna wake up earli....... he still drink sho much...... pray hard dat he dun get headache...... nothin much to say le...... wat ish done ish done....... onli hope dat we can juz be like bao & her gf..... though lots of conflicts, break up & frenz disagreement....... but still together bahz....... i reali dunno wat to do le..... gonna see fate & time bahz....... oso need to see him........ i can't wk on my own..... i need 2 hands to clap...... i totally dunno how he's feeling now le...... feel dat he's getting further & further from mi le....... haiz...... take care of urself.... dun drink sho much le...... u will make mi feel bad & worry..... but u will onli harm ur health...... juz like the way i cut my hand....... u noe how i feel & i noe how u feel le.... hope dat i can be updated wif some of his stuff... i reali dunno wat he ish doin now & how he's doin....... juz hope everythin ish fine for him..... all the stuff dat he ish worry ish gone le...... no more worry bout poly le...... now onli need to study hard bahz..... all the best wor..... take care...... miz u.........

SIgning off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

Shopping & spending day~!!!! >missing him<

2005-04-14T17:15:00.000+08:00

today went to np submit allthe forms..... as i expected.... blur blur de mi still forget bring 1 form..... hehe..... foreva blur de mi.... :p i totsubmit all those form le bag will be lighter..... but no diff..... bag still veri heavy...... & ish heavier..... mi got a t-shirt from np..... nice nice wor..... but size quite big though ish s size..... hehe..... np got camp wor.... mi & wei join 2 camp..... foc & sports camp...... seems fun...... hehe...... after dat we went shopping wif a veri heavy bag...... hehe...... we went far east.... mi bought alot of stuff wor.... but still got more i need buy.... haiz...... tml still gonna find boss at queensway.... frenz help mi find job at queensway.... thanz wor..... hehe..... shun pian can go buy bermudas for camp...... hehe....... reali broke le larz........ humph..... go 1 camp oso muz buy sho many thin........ humph..... today shopping reali shiok....... veri long neva like dat shop le...... hehe.... gonna save up all over again..... hehe...... now onli feel like cutting hair....... coz mi unhappy jiu muz cut hair...... now reali veri unhappi..... haiz.....

today shopping time i tot i wun miz him...... i'll juz put everythin aside for dat moment..... but i'm wrong.....mi still missing him...... he'll neva leave my mind... today go join all those camp hope the camp can make mi feel occupy then dun thin sho much..... but it's on may...... haiz..... i try to keep myself occupied today le...... but no use lehz.....mi not onli miz him..... still got the tot of buying thin for him somemore.... haiz..... do u miz mi???? haiz..... i ask stupid qn again.... i noe he wun... haiz..... today still got the tot of seeing him..... still wanna hug him..... but.... haiz..... better not..... haiz..... yest thin alot before i slp...... reali not use to the life without him.... i miz the time talking to him on phone till morning..... quarrelling over small matters & we can quarrel till morning.... haiz...... i oso miz the time msg half way then i fall aslp.... hehe... actuali mi veri tired le.... wan slp le... but i tell him not tired.... i wan pei him msg.... coz i noe he dun feel like slpin yet..... hehe... but end up i fall aslp.... he jiu will msg mi say i slp without telling him again..... humph..... reali miz him...... every nitez i stare at my hp, hoping dat he will msg telling mi he miz mi & love mi..... i reali miz the time he will msg mi.... haiz.... all these were gone le...... i got no more chance to see all these le...... haiz....... now i dun dare tell ppl much bout wat i thin le..... i thin they r worry bout mi..... haiz...... dun wan ppl to worry for unimportant stuff.... i onli can tell them i'll forget & get over it de.... but the facts ish i dunno i can marz...... haiz...... i thin the day i can give up on thinking bout patching ish the day he stand in front of mi & tell mi he dun love mi anymore...... haiz...... i noe by then i'll be damn sad & get out of his life....... but heart will neva die..... haiz...... it have been a week dat i didn't saw him le...... last time saw him ish at kster.... last thurs.... haiz.... & 2 days neva contact le..... as i say..... if i didn't stupid ways to msg him..... even like asking 1 qn.... he will neva msg mi de..... haiz..... i noe he reali wan leave le..... haiz...... u told mi before..... if someone intend to leave..... wat's the point of holding dat person back.... i'm lose....... i reali dunno wat u wan mi to do..... can u teach mi???? should i follow wat u say or should i continue to fan u & get u back??? haiz...... i dun wan listen to wat others say le...... now i wan u to tell mi wat u wan mi do...... haiz...... i've dropped into the sea...... drowding soon...... u wanna save mi??? the onli thin i can do now ish........ wish him all the best for his love life bahz....... tc.... miz ya lots.....

[----wo xiang wo ke yi xi guan yi ge ren shen hou... wo xiang wo ke yi jia zhuang bu chen ai gou... ping liang de ye li rang yan lei wen re wo... wo xiang wo ke yi xi guan yi ge ren shen hou... zai ji yi li mian cha qu ni de che nou... ai qing shi ge mo er wo shui gou tou...----]

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

sianz sianz day..... >missing him<

2005-04-13T14:43:00.001+08:00

aiyozz..... too many ppl noe mi friendster de blog le..... dun wan update it le.... update this 1 better.... hehe... today veri sianz.... neva go out... onli go find bei bei at cc nia....... then go mum mum..... hehe...... veri sianz day..... actuali today got the tot of go find him..... not to solve thin le...... juz to see him.... but i thin we will have nothin to talk.... sho i dun wanna go find him le... but reali miz him...... feel like seeing him..... haiz..... anyway wanna say sorry to bei & connie..... coz i keep fan them..... sorry to bei bei oso.... coz juz now i talkin on hp he keep kb.... then i scold him.... hehe.... sorry arhz bei..... hehe...... today dunno wat happen to kor & nie...... juz hope they'll be okie.... (pray hard for them)

yest nitez...... mi cry again wor...... reali miz him...... haiz..... tears always roll down my cheek whenever i thin of him..... can't stop myself from crying in the middle of the nitez..... haiz..... still can't stop blaming myself for everythin...... everybody ask mi dun blame myself..... but i can't..... haiz....... i always tell ppl relationship sure got 2 person's fault..... but now i thin onli my fault....... haiz....... mi reali miz him lotz...... i noe he wun miz mi le....... haiz..... dat's my life bahz..... haiz...... i thin i will not have a gd guy in my life de bahz...... got to face the facts....... i'm reali sorry.... but i thin everythin ish too late le..... haiz...... hope he'll find a better gal bahz....... as i told him before.... i'm not a gd stead.... haiz....... i'm scared........ i'm scared dat he will belong to another person..... hiaz........ i noe i can't stop him from anythin...... i have no rite too....... haiz...... reali wish dat he ish by my side again...... haiz...... but i'm afraid dat i can't give u the happiness u wan.... haiz...... all the best for his poly life oso...... take care......

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

simple day...... >miz ya<

2005-04-12T02:08:00.000+08:00

simple day...... juz acc andy go check colour blind then go meet connie...... sho sianz........ everyday sho bored..... nothin much to do...... haiz....... nie nie told mi she saw mi this blog...... she read till got tears.....sorry wor...... hai u waste tears........ hehe....... we went hm around 8 plus...... sho sianz...... today gonna log out earli coz mama wan slp earli..... haiz..... i thin this few days wun log in le..... coz veri sianz..... nobody de...... sho sianz......

today dunno y wait for bus veri long..... on the way hm thin of him again...... suddenly have the tot of seeing him & hugging him..... haiz.... i noe i wun have the chance to hug him anymore le..... haiz...... dunno y my tears roll down my eyes without mi noticing it...... haiz..... maybe ish the song i listening to make mi thin of the time we at kbox & the song he sang..... juz now actuali stunned at bus stop thinking wanna go abc marz...... reach le then ask u down..... but 9 plus le...... i noe u wanna rest..... tml still got to go sch...... somemore sho late go out mama will scold de...... sho i didn't go...... i onli can sit at my house downstair & cry... haiz........ but i noe i wun stop crying de..... sho i went hm wif a watery eyes.... hopin dat someone will be at hm to help mi stop crying..... i noe if i saw someone at hm i jiu wun cry le...... coz i dun wan them worry.... lucky mama at hm..... but she didn't notice my eyes red red....... i am able stop myself from crying..... haiz...... no matter wat i still gonna say sorry...... all this ish i brought upon myself & u.... sorry....... hope there will be no more chance dat i will make u sad.... but lucky u take thin lightly..... u wun sad for dat long....... haiz......

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

wat's life???

2005-04-11T17:35:00.000+08:00

haiz..... everybody log out le...... haiz...... nobody at hm oso..... hm ish sho empty.... haiz...... no tv programme to watch oso....... haiz..... veri bo liaoz...... realise dat i reali dun have much frenz.... most of them will have bf or have their own stuff to do...... haiz..... maybe this life...... haiz...... reali wish to find a job to ta fa shi jian..... reali bored.... haiz........ life sho bored....... haiz....... i can't choose who i wanna love..... i can't choose anythin in life..... everytime ish ppl choosing for mi....... or ppl choosin mi......... haiz.......i thin i can onli blame myself for all this bahz....... haiz......... now....... even wanna find someone talk oso difficult...... i noe i have nie nie by my side...... but she oso got bf le..... somemore her sch starting le..... she will have her own frenz & own thin to do..... haiz....... soon everyone will lose contact le....... juz hope dat they wun forget mi jiu hao........ haiz.......
he oso starting sch le..... he gonna noe new ppl oso...... forgetting mi ish much more easy le...... haiz...... i reali veri scare....... today i didn't msg him...... i noe he surely wun bother to contact mi de....... haiz...... mi now still dun bear to change anythin from mi hp........ haiz....... i thin my photo & msg have been deleted le bahz..... haiz...... although i say wan give up....... i still thin there ish hope...... i dun wish to give up........... haiz..... my feelings for u ish not as easy to fade as urs for mi......... haiz......... wat ish ur feeling for mi?????? do u understand love??????? how could u juz forget mi???? haiz....... izzit all guys ish like dat de????? haiz........

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

a birdy day... wahaha....

2005-04-11T16:00:00.000+08:00

today went out wif nie, kor, bei & vid.... go clementi do nothin..... too bo liaoz le..... whole day rotting...... today when we at the clementi complex de outside...... a bird fly towards us & it landed or my polo t de sleeve........ oh my god....... at first i dun even noe wat izzit???? scary wor.... wahaha...... they ask mi not to move..... end it flew off..... i nearly cry sehz...... dunno y i always kena all this thin de...... last time ish dog dash towards mi..... now ish bird..... wondering wat's next...... hehe.... :p at nitez come back holland rot..... damn bo liaoz........ somehow forcing my mind not to miz him & force myself to forget him.... haiz...... i dunno i can marz...... try & force myself to do all this bahz...... haiz....... reali gonna forget marz??????? haiz....... i can't force u sho i got to force myself......

yest nitez msg u....... trying to tell u i missing u..... end up talk bout the past & our relationship...... haiz..... reali miz u lots.... haiz.... u told mi u veri stress when wif mi.... i dun reali noe wat u r stress in...... maybe ish mi or my frenz.... if it's mi....... i can say ish i dun expect much.... i dun blame u for not sending mi hm....... coz i dun wan u make a big round of waste trip.... & i noe it's late..... mama will scold...... but from the start u dun even msg mi askin mi to be careful..... ish until i start sending u...... haiz...... even a simple thin a stead muz do like holding ur gf de hand to cross the road u oso can't do it...... i dunno y u thin stress..... haiz...... maybe ish my behaviour bahz..... ppl around mi tend to tell u wat to do..... then u dun wanna do but end up hai shi ll do.... haiz...... love shouldn't be selfish or boastful de...... i trying to suit the way u wan mi to be..... y can't u juz try to suit mi oso????? haiz....... u say u need a long break after our last relationship..... but pls....... u r not going into a new relationship........ i'm trying to get u back......... it's 2 diff matter....... haiz.......... maybe u r waiting for ur next relationship bahz........ haiz....... nvm lorz...... get on wif ur life lorz...... haiz...... i didn't wan to tell him all this coz i dun wanna argue..... i juz wanna get back wat i lose..... i told him i wanna change..... i dun wanna argue..... juz wan say sorry & hope everythin will end wif peace...... but i still need to talk to someone...... sho i choose to type out my unhappiness here...... i dun wanna tell anyone.... haiz...... coz i dun wan them worry..... if they coincidently see this jiu bo pian..... haiz..... love him jiu muz let him go bahz..... haiz..... i dun thin he have reali love mi before bahz...... dat's my life bahz..... no guys will reali love mi de..... if love mi jiu wun be able to withdraw most of his love for mi le.... haiz.... i can't say let go jiu let go...... haiz.......

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

reali miz u lots........

2005-04-10T18:25:00.000+08:00

today ish the channel u de singing competition registration de date line.... msg him to remind him..... he went suntec wif sis for the competition thin...... onli can wish him all the best....

today de outing veri simple..... onli go meet nie nie around 6.... we go queensway buy thin jiu go bugis find jie jie & her bf (zhu xiao di) eat steamboat..... after dat jiu go hm le.......

whenever it come to nitez........ i'll always miz him....... haiz......... realise reali veri diffficult to live without him....... haiz...... reali miz him lotz....... hope he can come back to my life...... but i'm afraid we can't bring each other happiness....... esp mi......... i'm afraid my temper can't change..... if wat i can't?????? i have to lose him again..... i rather dun try....... haiz....... give him the freedom then let him find a better gal bahz...... since i can't be the one...... haiz........ i'm veri sorry......... all the msg u reply give mi negative thinkin too...... i reali wish to get back u........... can i???????? haiz.......... my mind & my heart thin differently..... my mind ask mi not to patch up...... but my heart wants u to come back......... reali love u......... everybosy tells mi there's better guys around...... but my heart ish given to u le...... haiz.......... nothin much i can do le..... since u prefer now de life jiu dun disturb u le bahz........... haiz..... onli can wish u all the best...... dun ever forget mi hao marz?????? love u lotz.......... muackz........

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

decided????

2005-04-09T16:50:00.000+08:00

yest rushin to go kster..... no time update....... haiz...... yest he did go.... i'm both sad & happy..... happy dat i can see him....... sad coz memories all came back..... actuali wanna say sorry to him..... coz i cried there..... i try not to make it obvious le....... i keep lookin at the song bk..... then when he sing i rmb everythin... i end up running to the toilet.... hoping dat nobody will realise..... but connie realise le......... i thin he oso noe...... coz connie veri worry bout mi..... keep asking mi not to cry...... but i ask her dun make it obvious....... anyway....... he smoke yest.... i noe he gu yi de........ haiz....... juz dun wan him to hurt himself..... smokin wun do any gd to his soccer passion...... haiz.......

anyway i have heard alot of ppl tellin mi alot of diff stuff & i have tot alot oso...... almost everyone wif or without knowing him & knowing wat reali happened...... they juz ask mi not to hang on there le...... juz move on wif our life..... i wish i could..... i oso dunno i can marz....... actuali from the start i die die dun wan let go... wanna get u back... but soon..... i realise i'm too slefish..... u prefer ur life now..... y i still dragging u???? i'm looking for my happiness but will u be happy too.... i guess not..... i thin the best way ish i let go le bahz..... anyway..... as wat i heard from my frenz..... poly haven reali start...... there sure be alot of pretty & better gal....... he'll find 1 there de...... anyway my presence oso make him & his fam go worse.... without mi everythin ish MUCH MORE better..... y not give up to see him happy????? i thin it's worth...... actuali today wanna ask him out & talk to him again........ but thin it over...... will there be any solution????? anyway now i got nothin to talk to him le...... i realise we reali got nothin to talk bout le........... bei keep saying we will patch.... but now ish mi dun wan le..... although i'll miz him & miz the time we spent.... i thin it's worth to suffer for him...... i noe i sure will still have the tot of patchin sometime but i wun tell or say anythin to anyone le..... dun wanna let anyone worry.... juz wanna let them feel i'm okie le..... today will have a new amelia le...... i still bu se de change the name in my hp...... i dun wanna let thin end..... but i can't be selfish....... nothin much can do le...... onli can pray hard for u.. all the best in wateva u do bahz....... take care......

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-

simple & unhappy day...

2005-04-08T10:00:00.000+08:00

didn't go wk yest..... coz mi & sis thin not worth.... hehe.... yest acc my cousin to chiong..... sho didn't update this blog..... actuali i shouldn't have go chiong.... totally no mood to dance..... whole brain ish onli him... haiz... but dun wanna let esther be alone... sho acc her lorz... the place veri crowded..... i thin i still prefer phuture then zouk..... but the ppl there a bit no gd.... a guy who ish dancing behind us try to dance wif us...... his frenz teach him to put his hand on my waist & see mi wanna dance wif him marz..... but mi de reaction ish push his hands off....... hehe......
i told him i go chiong le.... & oso told him i interview pub but didn't go wk.... haiz...... 2nd time to wake him up at 2.45...... haiz....... veri noisy there..... so i didn't noe i got wake him up marz...... sho msg him..... after msging a while.... jiu neva msg le.... haiz..... after i out of phuture.... we went to a near byb place at great world there to eat..... i msg him again lorz..... see he got miz his soccer like the nitez before marz..... actuali askin him all this craps ish excuse... juz wanna talk to him bahz...... haiz...... he end up askin mi not to reply..... coz he nothin to say le..... dun wanna msg a few word kind.... haiz...... end up jiu no msg le......

after i reach hm.... i msg him again...... ask him whether feeling fading or wat & wanna get this relationship back... realise dat i was rite.... his feeling ish fading... almost equal to zero le.... & he dun even noe wan this relationship back marz...... reali veri sad... feel like crying..... but control myself... haiz..... anyway he prefer his life now le..... wat for mi keep thinking of patchin????? no point le bahz...... i intended to do somethin end up....... haiz..... love u muz let u go bahz....... haiz......
this few days a few ppl ish giving mi attitude for nothin... i reali feel how my frenz feel..... i oso dunno y i become like dat last 2 months..... haiz.... reali veri sorry to u & my frenz.... esp kor, des & connie..... sorry......
ltr going kster wif nie they all.... hope he ish going too.... i scare will give them attitude or wat wor.... hope can conntrol myself..... tml then update the blog for today de activity bahz.... haiz....

Signing off~
-O-x-Y-g-3-n-